On Thursday John McCain demonstrated the character strength of valor which is defined as speaking up for what is right. As stated in an article that appeared in this morning’sThe New York Times:
When a man told [McCain] he was “scared” of an Obama presidency, Mr. McCain replied, “I want to be president of the United States and obviously I do not want Senator Obama to be, but I have to tell you — I have to tell you — he is a decent person and a person that you do not have to be scared” of “as president of the United States.” The crowd booed loudly at Mr. McCain’s response.
Later, a woman stood up at the meeting, held at Lakeville South High School in a far suburb of Minneapolis, and told Mr. McCain that she could not trust Mr. Obama because he was an “Arab.”
Mr. McCain replied: “No, ma’am, he’s a decent family man, citizen who I just happen to have disagreements with on fundamental issues. And that’s what this campaign is all about.” At that, the crowd applauded.
Yesterday morning, Barack Obama, thanked McCain. As reported in this morning’s The New York Times online:
“I want to acknowledge that Senator McCain tried to tone down the rhetoric in his town hall meeting yesterday,” Mr. Obama said, speaking at an early-morning rally in North Philadelphia. “I appreciated his reminder that we can disagree while still being respectful of each other. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again – Senator McCain has served this country with honor, and he deserves our thanks for that.”
These remarks represent the candidates at their best. In these instances, both men show that they embrace civility despite tremendous pressure from extremists in their respective parties to use personal attacks that play on misguided or ignorant fears. Although it’s not surprising that the candidates slip into personal attack mode periodically in the heat of competition and stress, my hope is that they will rise above it and in doing so model the values they believe in, values that I wrote about in an earlier post entitled “Connector in Chief.”
Civility is important to human value (“Value”) and knowledge flow (“Voice”), two elements of the Connection Culture I speak and write about. Connection, which political sociologists refer to as “social capital,” is critical for a nation to thrive. Given the challenges America and the world face in the years and decades ahead, we need leaders who will unite us despite our differences by reminding us how much we have in common and agreeing to disagree where we have differences rather than allow them to tear us apart.
Civility is important to organizational unity too. I’ve seen some leaders personally attack people they perceive as internal competitors or their subordinates in the organization. Incivility destroys trust. It is also contagious. As incivility spreads, employee engagement suffers. Employees on the receiving end of uncivil behavior retaliate, oftentimes by sabotaging the work of others or by working against the organization’s interests.
We know from neuroscience research that people are more likely to engage in uncivil behavior when they are under stress. Financial shocks and fear of job loss have contributed to the stress people feel today. One antidote to the stress that encourages incivility is human connection. As my friend Dr. Ned Hallowell the psychiatrist and author says “never worry alone.” That’s wise advice that I hope might help you in these stressful times.
