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Don’t Get Caught in the “Knowing-Doing Trap”

Word "Goals" on Whiteboard#15 Don’t Get Caught in the “Knowing-Doing Trap”

Many people know they need to exercise and eat right to be healthy but they fail to DO it. They become caught in the knowing-doing trap (a term we adapted from the “knowing-doing gap” coined by Stanford professors Jeffrey Pfeffer and Robert Sutton). That can happen with connection, too. Don’t let it. Make sure you create a plan to take at least three actions and share your plan with someone who will encourage you and hold you accountable, such as a mentor or coach. If you take action, you will find that it increases your level of understanding about connection. Mark this day, begin connecting and watch what happens. You will experience the productivity, prosperity and joy that come from having greater connection in your life.

This is the fifteenth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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3 Practices CEOs Should Adopt from this Rock Star

U2's Bono

As seen on Fox Business

One of the great success stories of our time is the rock band U2.  When the band began in 1976, its musical skills left much to be desired. More than three decades later, U2 has received a remarkable 22 Grammy awards, more than any band in history.  In addition, the band surpassed the Rolling Stones’ record for the highest revenue grossing concert tour. How did this transformation happen?

Like all great groups, leadership makes the difference.  Bono is U2’s leader, lead singer and lyricist. His leadership approach can be described in one sentence: Bono communicates an inspiring vision and lives it, values people, and gives them a voice.  CEOs would be wise to follow Bono’s example. 

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Alone No Longer: Ten Years Later

Katie Stallard with daughters Elizabeth and Sarah

Katie Stallard with daughters Elizabeth (left) and Sarah (right)

Ten years ago today, my wife’s surgeon told me she had advanced ovarian cancer.  Today Katie is cancer free and flourishing in every way.  The experience of spending more time with my family and friends during that season of supporting Katie while she underwent treatment opened my eyes to the power of connection.  I wrote about it in “Alone No Longer.”

Since the time Katie was diagnosed and treated for advanced ovarian cancer, research published in The Journal of Clinical Oncology by Susan Lutgendorf, et. al., has shown that connection provides a survival advantage to ovarian cancer patients.

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Connection Requires the Right Attitude

Smiling coworkers with good attitudes

#14 Develop an Attitude of Commitment, Courage and Perseverance

To develop the strength of character that intentional connectors have requires commitment, courage and perseverance.

  • Commitment is required to develop the habit of connecting.
  • Courage is required because some people will reject your efforts to connect, whether due to circumstance or personality. When our efforts to connect are spurned, the part of the brain that feels physical pain becomes active and it triggers a sense of “social pain.” Understanding this natural response will help you be prepared for it.
  • Perseverance is required to reach the point where connecting is now part of your character.

This is the fourteenth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Practice Five Minute Favors

five minutes on timer

#13 Practice Five Minute Favors

In his excellent book Give and Take, Wharton professor Adam Grant advocates the practice of “five minute favors,” i.e. you should be willing to help anyone if it takes only five minutes. Grant argues that helping others connects them to us and helps develop a supportive network.

This is the thirteenth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Reach Out to the Disconnected

Hand Reaching Out to Help

#12 Connect with the Disconnected

People who are disconnected need our help. Throw them a lifeline by taking action to connect with them. Perhaps you can encourage them with a smile, a kind word, an offer to buy them a cup of coffee or by holding open a door for them. There are hundreds of ways to connect and small things can make a big difference over time.

People who become disconnected and feel left out suffer. Neuroscientists call what they feel “social pain” because feeling left out activates the parts of the brain where human beings feel physical pain and it causes people to become more anxious, more stressed, less social, less energetic, less rational and diminishes their self-control. Disconnection is not only unproductive, it is potentially dangerous if the isolated individual becomes angry and decides to retaliate. This is why we need to show mercy and reach out to help the disconnected reconnect.

This is the twelfth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Determining Your Top 5 Priorities for 2014

Goals and PrioritiesA mistake many leaders make is being overly ambitious in setting annual priorities. Going beyond five annual priorities diminishes focus and jeopardizes effective execution by tending to overwhelm those responsible for implementation.  (Neuroscientists have discovered that when people feel overwhelmed, brain function shifts from the frontal lobes of the brain, where rational decisions are made, to the mid-brain region, where rash decisions are more likely.)

One extremely successful leader who understands the importance of this best practice is Admiral Vern Clark, the Chief of Naval Operations (CNO) from 2000 until his retirement in 2005.  As head of the U.S. Navy, the CNO is a member of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and serves as the principal naval adviser to the President of the United States on the conduct of war. The Navy achieved impressive gains during Clark’s tenure.

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Connect with the Core

Leader with employees testing new management theory

#11 Connect with the Organization’s Core

Remember to make an effort to connect with people who have less power, control and influence because they are the ones who do most of the work when it comes to executing the tasks of your organization. Research has shown that higher status employees pay less attention to those with lower status and they are unaware of it. The famous “Whitehall Studies” in the UK established that workers who are lower in an organization’s hierarchy have less sense of control and suffer from greater stress and this contributes to ill health and higher mortality. The antidote to help people cope with stress is to connect with them and to delegate greater control to them.

This is the eleventh post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Affirm People in Introductions

Business Lunch to Stop Burnout

#10 Introduce People with Affirming Statements

When you make introductions, get in the habit of making a positive comment about the person. The positive comment must be genuine, however. As they say in the southern U.S., “it can’t be Saccharine… it has to be real sugar.” For example, you might introduce Tom by saying “I’d like you to meet Tom. He’s an outstanding engineer.” or “He’s one of the smartest people I know.” or “He’s an avid runner.”

This is the tenth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Motivate with a Memorable “Vision Phrase” that Matters

Vision Road Sign

When you communicate a memorable vision phrase that matters, the people you lead will be more motivated to help achieve it.

Recently I was helping run workshops on leadership at Texas Christian University (TCU), a university of just under 10,000 students based in Fort Worth, Texas. TCU is one of the hottest schools in America. It receives around 20,000 applications a year for 1,800 freshman openings.

At TCU, people are motivated by a vision phrase TCU uses as a tagline: “Learning to Change the World.” Although they know the gist of TCU’s official and more formal sounding vision, mission and values, it’s the vision phrase that all can recite.

At TCU, the vision phrase is reinforced by the stories of graduates who are helping to change the world in ways that are consistent with TCU’s values.