My mind must have been on something else as I began to edge out a bit from a side street to make a left-hand turn onto a main thoroughfare. At the same time, another driver was turning left onto the street I was on. I slammed on my brakes in time. Admittedly, the near miss was my fault and the driver I almost pulled in front of had every right to be upset. What surprised me, however, was the intensity of his reaction. He came unglued, turned blood red, repeatedly flipped me off and began spewing expletives and spittle. The rage on his face is burned in my memory. I kept an eye on him in my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t turning around to come after me. Fortunately he didn’t.
Danger: Falling Tyrants
Check out this article in the Atlantic entitled “Danger: Falling Tyrants.” The article makes a good point: emerging democracies in the Middle East following the Arab Spring may not result in governments that promote freedom. Influence, then, is all the more important, a point my friend Jeremie Kubicek makes in his fine book Leadership is Dead: Why Influence is Reviving It.
We are Human Beings, Not Machines
We are human beings, not machines. We have emotions, a conscience, hopes and dreams. We need to be respected, to be recognized for our contributions, to feel a sense of belonging, and we need autonomy, personal growth and meaning in our work. When these needs are met, it is life-giving. When they are not met, it drains the life out of us.
When people relate to one another in ways that fail to reflect our shared humanity, it results in dysfunction. Here are links to two recent articles that recognize the importance of emotions and the ability to connect with other human beings. A New York Times magazine article entitled “The Korean Dads’ 12-Step Program” described a “Father School” where emotionally challenged Korean fathers learned to connect with their wives and children. And here’s a Wall Street Journal article entitled “On the Lesson Plan: Feelings” that describes business school efforts to help MBA students learn to connect relationally with others in the workplace.
Emotional Connections Essential to Employee Engagement
Here is a video from YouTube of a conversation I had earlier this year about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation with Dr. Homer Erekson, Dean of TCU’s Neeley School of Business. Our conversation occurred as part of the Tandy Executive Speakers Series that featured CEOs of outstanding companies such as Nieman Marcus, Southwest Airlines and The Container Store.
During our conversation we discussed how most leaders don’t understand the importance of emotional connections to the success of the their organization. Learn more about the “Connection Cultures” that great leaders create by reading Fired Up or Burned Out.
Should Leaders Care About Employee Happiness?
Should leaders care about employee happiness or is employee engagement a passing fad? Let me frame this debate in a slightly different way that I believe provides the best answer.
As part of creating value, leaders need to be intentional about achieving both task excellence and relationship excellence because our research found that both are necessary to achieve sustainable superior performance i.e. Task Excellence + Relationship Excellence = Sustainable Superior Performance. Both are also necessary if most employees are to experience a sense of satisfaction for the many hours they spend working. If employees feel unsatisfied, they will not perform tasks at a level that reflects excellence for a sustained period of time. They will likely be able to perform with excellence for a short period of time but eventually their lack of emotional energy will drag them down.
We are human beings, not machines. Emotion matters, even in business.
When Beauty Breaks Through Life’s Daily Drone
Airports can be dull, uninspiring places where it’s easy to drift into a numb, trans-like state of mind. But what if a group of people decided to break through the cacophony of sounds and sights at one of the world’s busiest airports by orchestrating a beautiful symphony of human voices. Thanks to a stunning T-Moble advertisement, we don’t have to imagine what it might look like. Check it out in the wonderful video above.
Watching the video reminded me of the joy people experience when they become engaged in and feel connected to their work. They move from the drone of daily work to a life-giving state where work is like making beautiful music. This only happens when one’s work brings truth, beauty and/or goodness into the world. It is one aspect of the first element in a Connection Culture that we call “Inspiring Identity.” Learn more about Connection Cultures and Inspiring Identity in Fired Up or Burned Out.
Gap’s Chief Innovation Officer Recognizes Connection Required to Innovate
I’m encouraged to see more leaders recognize that individuals and organizations need connection to thrive. Here’s a video of Polly LaBarre at MIX interviewing Ivy Ross, Gap’s Chief Innovation Officer, about the need for connection to innovate. To learn more about “Connection Cultures” download the Connection Culture Manifesto published by changethis.com. You can go even deeper into Connection Cultures by signing up for my new quarterly email newsletter after which you will receive an email that contains a link to a free download of Fired Up or Burned Out, the book that introduced Connection Cultures.
Book Ends Interview and Discussion Guide
Some time ago I did an interview about Fired Up or Burned Out on Book Ends with Susan Stamm. Susan and here colleagues developed a discussion guide based on the interview. You can hear the interview here and find the discussion guide at this link.
Leadership Is Dead: How Influence Is Reviving It
In Leadership Is Dead: How Influence Is Reviving It, Jeremie Kubicek, CEO of the leader development company GiANT Impact, makes a clear and compelling case that “dominating leaders” who lead by coercion are on the decline and are being replaced by “liberating leaders” who lead through influence.
Kubicek observes that leadership has moved from a noun to a verb. It has become a means or vehicle for appropriate change rather than a goal or end in itself (i.e. to become the leader who exerts power over others). Peggy Noonan, President Ronald Reagan’s speechwriter, once stated it this way: “Poor leaders want to be great. Great leaders want to do something great.” Kubicek points out that for leaders to successfully make this shift, competence is required to get the job done well and character is required to build strong relationships based on mutual trust. People are much more likely to give their best efforts when following a liberator than a dominator because this type of leader helps the people he or she leads and, in doing so, develops a bond of connection.
I highly recommend this book. In addition to making a valuable contribution to leadership thinking, the stories and examples make it a page-turner.
Over-Connected, Are You?
Check out this thought-provoking presentation by MIT Professor Sherry Turkle. It’s about the topic of her book entitled Alone Together. She does an outstanding job of articulating the risks of becoming addicted to virtual connections.
As human beings we need to feel connected to other people in order to thrive. I’ve written extensively about this in the Connection Culture Manifesto and in Fired Up or Burned Out. We are human beings not machines. We need to develop intimacy, trust and affection with our family members, friends and colleagues at work. Absent meeting the need for feeling connected to others, we dysfunction. The subtle allure of feeling connected online can develop into addiction so we must guard against allowing virtual connections to crowd out time for face-to-face connection. Striking the right balance is key.
In her presentation, Professor Turkle points out that virtual connection represents another threat in that it can crowd out time to be alone with ourselves. I couldn’t agree more. We need time to reflect on our lives and who we aspire to be. This is essential to develop strength of character and moral confidence. Nelson Mandela, in a letter he wrote in 1975 while incarcerated at Robben Island Prison, expressed this so well: