My daughter, Sarah, recently rushed to the aid of a fellow cheerleader on her high school squad who had been injured. Sarah does this regularly. When Sarah was injured in the fall her teammates came over to see her, bringing flowers or candy. One day while driving together, I asked Sarah why she and others rushed to help every teammate in need. She turned to me and said, “Dad, we’re a family.”
I smiled and felt a sense of pride.
Over the last three years I’ve observed Sarah, her teammates, her coach and the women who I affectionately refer to as the “cheer ladies,” i.e. the moms (and a few dads) of the girls who do so much to support the team. A family spirit is alive and well among the members of this group. They encourage each other and come to each other’s aid when one of their members is in need. Their coach holds the girls to high standards when it comes to performing their tasks as cheerleaders. They were the state champion cheerleading squad last year. She also expects them to be a family. These two factors, what my colleagues and I at E Pluribus Partners describe as “Task Excellence” and “Relationship Excellence,” give the girls the necessary skills and confidence to fly high in the air and know with certainty that their teammates will catch them and protect them from harm. You see, cheerleading is a dangerous sport these days, as most emergency room physicians can attest. Failed stunts often end in injury. In the last year alone, Sarah has broken both hands. Other girls on the team have had concussions, broken bones, dislocated shoulders, and more. It takes a lot of trust in their teammates to do what these girls do. And to watch them care for and count on each other is to observe something beautiful…and increasingly rare.
Most companies could learn a lot from these teenage girls. We all long to belong and yet so few workplaces these days have a family spirit. It seems that in the worst cultures people view you as a competitor or they are indifferent to your well-being so they don’t want to help you or bother to ask. This is tragic.
Recently, I wrote on this blog a post entitled “Why Inclusiveness Is in at GE.” It describes why Jeff Immelt is wise to make all GE employees feel included as a part of the GE team, which is exactly what he is doing. Other leaders would be wise to take note and make the employees they are responsible for leading feel included too, “like a family” as Sarah said.
In a workplace where people feel included you will hear a lot of conversation and see people reach out to help their colleagues. You will hear a lot of questions too. How are you? How’s your family? What can I do to help you? How are you feeling about your career? Are you learning and growing? Where do you want to be in the next few years in your career? What types of training and mentoring will help you? What can we do better as a company? What do you think about this idea, problem or opportunity? How often do you hear these questions at work today?
People feel the most included and connected with the group when the bonds of shared identity, empathy and understanding are strong. It produces a family spirit and that, in turn, increases trust and cooperation so that individuals feel safer taking risks because they know that their colleagues “have their backs,” so to speak.
I hope more leaders begin to create a family spirit among the people they lead. If they make a serious effort to do this and sustain it over time, morale and employee engagement will soar.
In our book entitled Fired Up or Burned Out, we describe how to create a Connection Culture that makes people feel like they are part of the family. The development of a family spirit in a company is also described in Paul Spiegelman’s wonderful new book entitled Why is Everyone Smiling? Paul is the CEO of the Beryl Companies based in Bedford, Texas. This is a book every leader should read and the family spirit Paul describes in it is what I hope every worker will one day experience.
