Category Archives: Ways to Connect

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Leadership Advice: Ask, Don’t Order

Question Mark

#40 Ask, Don’t Order

When you want someone to do something, ask him/her, don’t order him/her to do it. Asking creates partnership while ordering reinforces hierarchy. Partnerships connect people to the process whereas emphasizing hierarchy by ordering them is disconnecting. By taking this approach, people are far more likely to trust you when you do need to issue orders in emergency situations.

This is the fortieth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Provide Clarity on Critical Actions

Typing

#39 Provide Clarity on Critical Actions

Make sure your direct reports know what you are counting on them to do and when it needs to be completed. The lack of clarity, especially on critical actions, undermines connection. When it comes to critical actions, it’s best to put them in writing.

This is the thirty-ninth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Connect at Work During Lunch

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#38 Make Lunch and Break Connections – In many workplace cultures today, taking lunch away from your desk may brand you as a slacker.  It’s too bad this is the case since taking time to connect with someone who energizes you is a great way to boost your personal productivity by refreshing and re-energizing your brain. Try it this week.

This is the thirty-eighth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Maintain Connections…Even When You Disagree

Angry Business Man

#37 Safeguard Relational Connections

Don’t nuke people who disagree with you. If you disagree with someone, say so but do it in a respectful manner. You might even begin your response with “I may be wrong but is it possible that…?” or “It’s just one person’s opinion, and I may be wrong, but I wonder if it could be that….”

If you offended or hurt someone’s feelings, apologize. If someone apologizes to you, give him/her the benefit of the doubt and forgive him/her.

This is the thirty-seventh post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Connect Through Skip Level Meetings

Businessman Conducting a Meeting with His Staff

#36 Hold “Skip Level” Meetings

Hold “skip level” meetings where you meet with the people who report to one of your direct reports. In the skip level meeting, the leader should encourage attendees to share their ideas and opinions about how to improve the business.

To preserve connection with your direct reports, make sure you communicate that you will be hosting these meetings with their teams on a regular basis so they don’t feel that they are being audited. Keep the focus of the meetings on giving people a voice to share ideas for how to improve the business, and debrief with your direct reports so they are in the loop on the feedback shared.

This is the thirty-sixth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Connection Tip: Respect Other People’s Time

Business people holding clocks over their faces

#35 Respect Other People’s Time

When you interrupt someone while he/she is otherwise engaged, show that you respect his/her time by saying, “Sorry to interrupt you. Is this a good time to talk?”

Another way to respect other people’s time is not to linger. If the other person is not very responsive, it may be a sign that he/she is busy and is eager to get back to work. Be sensitive to the other person’s responsiveness or lack thereof as a cue. Many people will not explicitly tell you they are busy because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

This is the thirty-fifth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Connect at Work: Recruit Best Friends

Two Friends Laughing at Work

#34 Recruit Best Friends

According to Gallup Research, 30 percent of employees have a best friend at work. These employees are seven times as likely to be engaged, they are better at engaging customers, they produce higher quality work and they have higher well-being. People who don’t have a best friend at work have just a 1/12 chance of feeling connected and being engaged.

If you have a best friend who has the competence to fill a role in your organization, recruit him or her.

This is the thirty-fourth post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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To Practice Connecting, Volunteer at a Community Service Organization

Volunteers at Soup Kitchen

#33 To Practice Connecting, Volunteer at a Community Service Organization

Want to practice truly connecting with others, but aren’t sure where to start? People are positive and grateful when you volunteer to help at a community service organization. These are safe places to practice connecting and developing the skills to connect without feeling anxious about how potential failures might sabotage your career.

This is the thirty-third post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.

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Consider Both Competence and Character in Hiring and Promotion Decisions

Business Handshake

#32 Hire, Develop and Promote for Both Competence and Character That Connects

Most managers hire for competence but are not anywhere near as intentional about probing to understand a job applicant’s character.  Take time to identify your core values as a leader then ask questions that explore those values as you interview applicants.

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To Build Relationships, Speak in Bullet Points or Paragraphs

Executive Businessman in Meeting with Businesswoman

#31 Speak in Bullet Points or Paragraphs

Whenever possible, deliver your message in the preferred style of the listener: bullet point or paragraph.

  • The “bullet point” person favorably responds to a style that is brief, to the point, and supported by hard evidence of results. He/she will become impatient if made to wait for the bottom line.
  • The person who prefers “paragraphs” is more open to hearing anecdotes, examples, or explanations that help him/her understand and to soft evidence that infers a certain result.

This is the thirty-first post in our series entitled “100 Ways to Connect.” The series highlights language, attitudes and behaviors that help you connect with others. Although the language, attitudes and behaviors focus on application in the workplace, you will see that they also apply to your relationships at home and in the community.