A poignant journey to heal and reconnect

Lost and Found Book CoverIn honor of Mother’s Day tomorrow, I am taking a break from writing about connection at work to focus on connection in families. Each of us experience times in life when we feel disconnected from family members. The lack of relational intimacy with the people we love can be especially painful. It often contributes to unhealthy behaviors as a means to cope with the pain. In the stories of individuals who break their addiction, you will nearly always find one person or a group of people who helped heal the wounds of the addicted with love and encouragement.

Lost & Found is the poignant story of Kathryn Slattery, a contributing editor of Guideposts magazine and author of several books. In the book, Kitty describes her disconnection with her mother and father, the onset of bulimia, how her husband Tom’s love and encouragement helped her overcome bulimia, and finally how Kitty reconnected with her parents.

I enjoyed this book.

Stephen Paletta, The Biggest Giver

paletta.jpgTonight, the judges for Oprah’s new hit show “The Big Give” selected Stephen Paletta as the biggest giver. My family and I just returned home from watching the Big Give with Steve’s family and friends at a local restaurant. Everyone attending the gathering was thrilled that Steve won because he is a big giver, in more ways than you might expect.

The Mitchells’ Mission: Conquer the World One Hug at a Time

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The year was 1958. Ed Mitchell, a 54-year old marketing and advertising executive, got off the commuter train from New York City and announced he was leaving the awful work culture he had put up with for years. Ed realized that being nice to people and caring about them were in his DNA and the work environments on Madison Avenue that he had experienced were indifferent to those values or viewed them as a weakness. Those toxic environments were literally giving him ulcers.

Ed decided to open a men’s clothing store in his hometown of Westport, Connecticut. This way he could create the environment that he wanted to work in. Ed began by selling a selection of three suits all hung on a pipe left over from the previous tenant, a plumber. Norma, his wife, made coffee for customers. The Mitchells’ friends showed up to support them. Ed loved being around people and getting to know them. He loved helping community organizations too. And the Mitchells’ store grew and grew.

Ed and Norma’s sons, Bill and Jack, eventually joined the business, as have members of the next generation of Mitchells. Eventually, they acquired two other stores that shared their philosophy: Richards in Greenwich, Connecticut and Marshs in Long Island. Mitchells/Richards/Marshs has been wildly successful. In 2002, they were named Menswear Retailer of the Year. Celebrities and corporate chiefs flock to their stores. The three stores are likely pulling in around $100 million a year in revenue.

What are the keys to their success? When you observe their business, a few things stand out. They value excellence in the products they sell and the services they provide. A business that attracts and retains the kind of demanding customers that Mitchells/Richards/Marshs has doesn’t succeed unless it meets its customers’ high expectations. What really differentiates Mitchells/Richards/Marshs is hugs. The “hug” is a metaphor for connecting with clients and associates and showing them you care. A hug is everything from knowing a customer’s pet’s name to going the extra mile to get a customer’s suit delivered on time for a special event. In service businesses, hugs are a source of competitive advantage. The Mitchells community (family, associates, customers and suppliers) hug each other a lot. Imagine a culture that lives by the Golden Rule and you’ll get a sense for what it feels like to be a part of this hugging community.

Now the hugging philosophy has gone global. And why not? It’s inspiring. It’s simple. It works. Jack Mitchell, chairman and CEO of Mitchells/Richards/Marshs, has written Hug Your Customers (available in several languages) and Hug Your People. I highly recommend both books. They will give you an up-close look at a thriving example of the Connection Culture I’ve written about that increases employee and customer engagement.

Ed and Norma Mitchell are no longer alive but their dream lives on and so does their example of how to treat employees like family and customers like friends. They started something great. You can find the inspiring story of how it all began on Jack Mitchell’s website under videos (it’s entitled “The Ed Mitchell Story”). To the casual observer, it may look like these unassuming merchants are mere purveyors of exceptional clothing and jewelry. In reality, it’s so much more. They’re philosophers in Armani and Zegna, spreading their beliefs one hug at a time.

Picture: Jack Mitchell (on the left) with me at his book signing held at the Richards’ store in my hometown of Greenwich, Connecticut.

David Zinger: Connecting for the Cause

david-zinger.jpgPeriodically, I have the good fortune to meet someone whose selfless acts of goodness inspire me to write about him. David Zinger is one such person. He is the visionary who started the Employee Engagement Network that has become the online marketplace of ideas about employee engagement. David also maintains his own site entitled: Employee Engagement: Results That Matter. He is a tireless writer about all things regarding employee engagement. A few months back David reviewed my book. He liked it and decided to help raise awareness of my work. Some writers would view me as a competitor. Not David. Where others see a competitor, David sees a colleague who shares his passion to improve the lives of people in the workplace. He sent me and my co-authors pieces of rope as a symbol of the “Brotherhood of the Rope” that he has written about. His example inspired me and made me curious to know more about him and why he is so passionate about employee engagement. David was kind enough to oblige my request for an interview. Following is the result.

Share your thoughts with journalist William J. Holstein on his BNet Blog

William J. Holstein, the well-respected business journalist who writes for The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, Business Week and other publications, described my new ebook on connection this way: “For those of us who write about business, every once in a while, a book or an article comes along that seems so simple on some levels yet communicates great wisdom. “The Connection Culture: A New Source of Competitive Advantage” is one such work.”  

On his blog, Holstein invites readers of The Connection Culture to share their thoughts. Would you consider sharing your reaction by posting a comment on Holstein’s BNet blog entitled “
The Corner Office?”

Make every employee a part of your team

 

GUEST: Michael Stallard

TOPIC: What are you doing to make sure your employees are engaged? Michael Stallard joins Jim to talk about how to make our team members feel that they actually have an important stake in the direction of the business.

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Spitzer’s Self-Sabotage…Why?

When I first heard about New York Governor Eliot Spitzer’s alleged involvement with prostitutes, I wasn’t surprised. I’m not condoning Spitzer’s behavior but there is more to the story that you’ll rarely see in the press. Let me explain why certain leaders resort to this brand of reckless and self-defeating behavior.

Connector in Chief

Recently I read comments in The Economist about presidential candidates John McCain and Barack Obama that caught my eye. The British magazine wrote about Obama that he had the ability to deliver the “dose of unity” that America needs. Regarding McCain the same article pointed out that he had a long record of “reaching out to his political opponents.”

What I hear in these statements is that The Economist is recognizing that McCain and Obama are connectors. They build relational bridges to their political opponents rather than burn the bridges across the table.

Given the nasty partisan atmosphere in Washington these days and America’s declining reputation in the world, it may be that voters yearn for a president who reaches out and connects with others, both at home and abroad. Our research at E Pluribus Partners clearly establishes that great leaders have the ability to connect with people and increase connection among a group of people. In fact, a high degree of connection (or social capital as it is also referred to) is necessary for nations to thrive. The ability to bring people together is an essential skill to possess in order to be an effective president.

What do you think about McCain and Obama as connectors? Are you aware of any examples that would help us judge how these two candidates stack up when it comes to their history of increasing connection, community and unity among the people they were responsible for leading.

The Uncommon Unity of U2

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The band U2 has had a phenomenal run since they came together in 1976. Critics rave over their music and fans can’t seem to get enough of their songs and concert appearances. All the signs indicate that U2 is at the top of its game and will be going strong for the foreseeable future.

Why has this particular band been together for more than 30 years when most other bands that experience success for a period of time eventually fall apart?

Family Spirit

GUEST: Michael Stallard

TOPIC: How important is having a family spirit in your business? Michael Stallard talks with Jim Blasingame about how a family spirit culture in your business improves employee engagement and becomes contagious with customers, too.

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