New Year’s Advice: “Improve Your Relationships”

Here’s some advice for the new year: improve your relationships.  Why, you might ask?

Consider this. Sports Illustrated just named the “Sportswoman of the Year” and the “Sportsman of the Year.” (Read the announcement here.) They are, respectively, Pat Summit, head coach of the “Lady Vols” basketball team at the University of Tennessee, and Mike Krzyzewski, head coach of the Duke men’s basketball team.  Each has more wins that any other coach, active or alive, in her or his respective Division I sports.

What they share in common is a passion to achieve task excellence and relationship excellence.  Building strong relationships is instrumental to their success.  In describing Summitt, Tyler, Pat’s son who plays for the men’s basketball team at Tennessee, observes,

“people get caught up in the numbers [but] if you want to know to my mom best, look at her relationships. How many who grew up under her are successful? And when life hits, who are they making that first phone call to?”

Sports Illustrated goes on to observe that “Coach K has “forged the same kinds of bonds” with his players. Coach K agrees and explains that connecting with people “is what it’s ultimately about because there are so many systems that work” for great teams. He says he wants to feel about his players what “my mom felt for me.”  This esprit de corps helps the team “play as one, with spirit and courage, [so they have] the best chance to win” says Krzyzewski.

For those of you who want to learn more, I encourage you to read about the surprising and wonderful story of Coach K’s secret of success.

A benefit that comes from improving your relationships is identified in new research from two Princeton professors who conclude that relationships are the most important contributor to happiness.  Check out an article about their research at this link.

A factor that is presently diminishing happiness is that we spend too much time online.  Norman Nie’s research at Stanford has established that internet use is linked to social isolation. Daniel Gulati recently chimed in on this topic in a HBR blog post entitled “Facebook is Making Us Miserable.”  I also commented on it in a post entitled “The Subversive Side of Technology.”

Now that I’ve spent too much time online this morning, it’s time for me to unplug and spend time with my family and friends. As I bid you adieu, let’s make it our new year’s resolution to be intentional about investing time to improve our relationships.  Better yet, let’s get a head start on it this holiday season.

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