Michael Lee Stallard » human value

One Easy Way to Be Happier

Michael Lee Stallard — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 00:26:50 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

Americans are connection deprived. A quarter of Americans live alone and the number of Americans who haven’t had a conversation with a best friend over the previous six months has tripled since 1985 to nearly 25 percent of the U.S. population. This also likely means Americans are running low on oxytocin, a molecule that is associated with empathy, trust, morality and connection.

To learn more about oxytocin, check out Paul Zak’s fascinating TED lecture. Here are just a few interesting points he makes:

Oxytocin is found only in mammals
Massage, dancing, sex, social media and praying boost oxytocin
Empathy boosts oxytocin and, as a result, increases moral behavior
Con artists learn to manipulate oxytocin levels in people
Sexual abuse, stress and testosterone inhibit oxytocin production
Weddings cause the release of oxytocin, especially in the bride and her mother
The easiest way to boost oxytocin is to hug someone
Zak prescribes eight hugs a day boost your oxytocin levels and make you happier

Hopefully, one of the above points catches your attention so that you’ll take time to watch the lecture. It’ll be 20 minutes well spent.

When a Psychopath Inhabits the C-Suite

Michael Lee Stallard — Wed, 07 Dec 2011 11:08:31 +0000

This post is a continuance of my prior post on evil in organizational cultures.

The “dark triad” — psychopaths, narcissists and machiavellians — represents a small part of the population. What unties this group of destructive personalities is that they lack empathy for other human beings and care only about themselves. Some end up in correctional institutions while others end up in leadership positions where they create dog-eat-dog cultures or cultures that are indifferent to human beings (this is opposed to Servant Leaders who create “Connection Cultures”).

For some interesting thoughts on psychopaths in the C-suite, see this post by Larry Kahaner of the McGowan Fund and the link in his post to an article entitled “The Corporate Psychopaths Theory of the Global Financial Crisis” that appeared in the Journal of Business Ethics. The book and movie entitled The Corporation make the argument that organizations that care only about profit have effectively become psychopathic.

The way to keep members of the dark triad out of positions of leadership and out of organizations is to educate everyone so that they understand what a healthy culture is, how it’s based on character strengths and virtues, and how organizations develop people with both character and competence. One project we are working on with Scotiabank is creating a monthly piece for leaders entitled Leading with Character. Each month’s piece highlights a particular character strength, explains how it’s relevant to the organization and how to strengthen one’s leadership in ways that reflect the character strength. If you are interested in learning more, please email me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com or call me at 203-422-6511.

Five Languages of Appreciation at Work

Michael Lee Stallard — Fri, 02 Dec 2011 22:42:35 +0000

Let me tell you about a new book that I’m recommending to leaders. It makes a great book for your leaders to read together as part of a book group.

Human Value is one of the elements of a Connection Culture that I teach leaders to create if they want to engage the people they lead to give their best efforts. The definition of Human Value is when everyone in the organization understands the needs of people, appreciates them for their positive, unique contributions and helps them achieve their potential. As the definition states, appreciation is essential.

Unfortunately, appreciation is frequently expressed in a language that is foreign to the individual on the receiving end. This is a source of frustration when one individual expresses appreciation in his or her language (which is usually the case) and the recipient experiences appreciation in a different language. Learning to express appreciation in ways that resonate with people is an important skill for all human beings, and especially for leaders.

Gary Chapman and Paul White’s new book, The Five Languages of Appreciation in the Workplace, identifies the different types of appreciation that resonate with people and when and how to express them. The five languages are acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, and physical touch. People have primary, secondary and, in some cases, tertiary languages of appreciation. Chapman and White’s research indicates that physical touch is not a primary language in the workplace and recommend that leaders focus on the other four languages.

This book is relevant to your relationships outside of work too. In fact, if you are interested in the five languages as they relate to marriage, parenting children or teenagers, I recommend that you check out Gary Chapman’s books on those specific topics. I read Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages and the Five Love Languages of Teenagers years ago and it helped me connect better with my wife and daughters. I’m a big fan of the five love languages and the languages of appreciation and hope you’ll check them out.

Recent Media Appearances

Michael Lee Stallard — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 14:56:10 +0000

Here is a link to the article I wrote about Starbucks. The article is entitled “Have a Heart.” It was published in Outlook Business for Decision Makers, a leading business magazine in India. In addition, below are links to three segments of a radio interview I did yesterday morning with Jim Blasingame, host of the nationally syndicated Small Business Advocate program.

The Heart of Starbucks’ CEO

Michael Lee Stallard — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 19:02:51 +0000

A leader I know and much admire is Howard Behar, the former president of Starbucks North America and Starbucks International. Howard tells about the time 14 years ago this month when he received a call in the middle of the night at his home in Seattle alerting him that three Starbucks employees at the Georgetown store in Washington, D.C. had been shot and killed, including an 18-year who had just recently begun at Starbucks, his first job. Behar immediately called Howard Schultz, Starbucks’ CEO, who was in New York on vacation at the time.

What Schultz didn’t do, says a lot about his character. He didn’t call Starbucks’ public relations people or lawyers. Instead, Schultz chartered a plane and headed straight to Washington, D.C. When he arrived, he spoke with the police then proceeded to the store to get the addresses of the three murdered Starbucks employees. He went to each of their homes, told their families he was sorry and shared in their tears.

Howard Schultz’s heart was broken. He showed courage by expressing the grief he felt. Doing so contributed to helping the victims’ families, friends and colleagues. As awful as grieving the loss of a loved one or friend is, it’s far worse to grieve alone.

Howard Schultz’s empathy and compassion spoke loudly to Howard Behar, a leader who has a huge heart. Behar left his former employer and joined Starbucks in part because the previous CEO he worked for advised him he “shouldn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.” Schultz was the type of leader Behar wanted to work for, a leader he could respect and admire because of his courageous and compassionate heart, a leader he wanted to give his best efforts to serve.

Howard Behar became part of the group of three leaders at the top of Starbucks who were referred to as “H²0” (i.e. Howard Schultz, Howard Behar and Orin Smith). Behar had an enormous impact on Starbucks North America as its president then went on to become the first president of Starbucks International where he led it to spectacular growth. After Behar retired, he continued to serve on Starbucks’ board of directors. Behar was loved and respected throughout Starbucks for his heart and passion as well as his work ethic, open-mindedness and judgment about the retail business. He became a Starbucks employee for the rest of his career, in no small part because his boss, Howard Schultz, had a heart.

One of the great privileges of my work is that I get to meet, observe and know leaders at a wide variety of organizations including businesses, government organizations, churches, universities and hospitals. I’ve met quite a few who exercise frequently to keep their hearts and bodies fit for the long hours and no small number of them are also motivated by the desire to impress others with their physical presence, energy and competitiveness. Regular physical exercise is certainly of value. What many leaders miss, however, is the need to develop their hearts in ways beyond exercise that are even more important: ways that produce the character strengths of love, kindness, compassion, gentleness and empathy. A leader whose character is missing these strengths may have power over others but will never lead from influence that moves people to give their best efforts and align their behavior with the leader’s goals. This truth is expressed in sayings such as you have to “earn the right to be heard” and “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

Research has shown that 75 percent of employees in most American organizations today are not engaged at work. They show up for the paycheck but don’t give their best efforts. Part of this is because they don’t feel connected to their leaders. From where they sit, their leaders appear heartless and could care less about them. That’s why developing the hearts of leaders is especially important to getting America back on the right track.

To develop heart, we must care about and serve others, including the people we lead: our colleagues at work; our spouses, children and parents; our friends; and the less fortunate in our midst who have nothing to give back to us.

As you serve, take the time to ask questions of others such as “where did you grow up?,” “how are you doing these days?,” “what’s going on in your life?,” and “what do you enjoy in life?” Slow down and listen closely. Find out about the career aspirations of the people who report to you and help them learn and grow in ways that advance their careers. If you’re a leader, you can develop the heart of the people you lead by scheduling a teambuilding event where together you volunteer to serve at a local charitable organization and take time to connect with the people you meet.

Care about and serve the people in your life and in your community, and you will develop the strength of heart that helps you connect.

To learn more about leaders who have developed heart and who inspired the people they led, read the article we wrote for the Leader to Leader Journal entitled “To Boost Performance, Connect with the Core.” It’s about Bono of the rock band U2 and Admiral Vern Clark, the second-longest serving chief of the United States Navy. I also recommend Howard Behar’s book It’s Not About the Coffee and the book Carolyn Dewing-Hommes, Jason Pankau and I wrote on great leaders who connect entitled Fired Up or Burned Out. In the coming months Jason Pankau and I will be speaking and teaching workshops on this topic at the the NASA Johnson Space Center, the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, Scotiabank, Texas Christian University, the Young Presidents Organization, and on September 13, I’ll be speaking with Admiral Vern Clark in Washington, D.C. at breakfast and lunch events sponsored by the Wharton Club of D.C.

Employee Engagement Network Webinar and Slides

Michael Lee Stallard — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:06:58 +0000

Employee Engagement and Connection from David Zinger on Vimeo.

Yesterday David Zinger and I held a webinar on Employee Engagement and Connection. You can see a recording of the webinar above and here is a link to the slides used during the webinar.

The webinar was hosted by the Employee Engagement Network, a 3,500 member online community founded by David. It was my good fortune to be the first speaker for the Employee Engagement Network’s inaugural webinar! If you are not a member of the Employee Engagement network already, I want to encourage you to join. David will be the host for future webinars on employee engagement-related topics that you will not want to miss.

Video Interview: Employee Engagement = Connections

Michael Lee Stallard — Sat, 26 Feb 2011 02:40:18 +0000

Click here to view the embedded video.

Here is a video from YouTube of a conversation I had about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation with Dr. Homer Erekson, Dean of TCU’s Neeley School of Business. Our conversation occurred as part of the Tandy Executive Speakers Series.

George Washington, Worthy of Praise?

Michael Lee Stallard — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 14:20:06 +0000

Today is Presidents’ Day in the U.S., a day in which we primarily celebrate our first president, George Washington. After reading the article “George Washington’s Tear Jerker” in The New York Times, one might ask, was Washington really the great leader he has been made out to be? I asked myself that question during the summer of 2002 and began a journey to unpack truth from myth. I went as far as contacting and speaking with Edward Lengel, the foremost historian on Washington’s generalship. After doing my own research I wrote the following which became one of the chapters on 20 leaders in Fired Up or Burned Out.

First in Their Hearts

Richard Neustadt, Presidential Scholar at Harvard University, observed the following about George Washington: “It wasn’t his generalship that made him stand out . . . It was the way he attended to and stuck by his men. His soldiers knew that he respected and cared for them, and that he would share their severe hardships.”From the time he was a young man, George Washington kept a personal rule book to remind him of the behavior that he aspired to live out each day. Many of the rules reflect that Washington valued human beings and they capture the respect and deference he accorded others throughout his life. Some entries read: “Every action done in company ought to be done with some sign of respect to those who are present”; “Speak not when you should hold your peace”; “Use no reproachful language against anyone”; “Submit your judgment to others with modesty”; “When another speaks, be attentive”; “Think before you speak”; and “Be not so desirous to overcome as not to give liberty to each one to deliver his opinion.”

Like many other great leaders who inspire their followers, George Washington placed a high value on people as human beings rather than treating them as human doings. The historian Edward G. Lengel described Washington’s leadership during the extraordinarily cold winter of 1777–78 at Valley Forge as “sacrificial” and noted that “he took great care in seeing that his soldiers were well housed.” Historian Henry Steele Commager noted Washington’s sacrifice for America was supported by the facts that he served as commander of the Continental Army without pay and was nearly bankrupt by the time he returned home to Mount Vernon after serving as the country’s first president. On one occasion when approached by soldiers who wanted to overthrow the wartime government and set up Washington to lead the country, he met with them and made it clear that the thought of overthrowing the colonial American government was repulsive to him and under no circumstances would he consider it.

When King George III of England heard the news that Washington resigned his military commission without seizing power following the Revolution’s conclusion, he was said to have commented, “If it is true, George Washington is the greatest man in the world.”

The selfless behavior of Washington connected people with him as their leader because it promoted trust. When a leader demonstrates that he or she is leading for the sake of the mission and the people, rather than for self-serving purposes, people naturally become more trusting.

George Washington’s character reflected humility. He had a reputation for being quick to listen and slow to speak. During the Revolutionary War, Washington listened to the advice of his war council, a group of soldiers who reported directly to him, and their advice helped him avoid what would have been costly mistakes. During the Constitutional Convention over which he presided, Washington rarely said a word other than to intervene and make decisions to break a logjam in the deliberations.

Washington was motived by a cause greater than self and knew how to inspire others by appealing to that cause. He was committed to American independence and frequently referred to it as “our glorious cause.” His love of America and personal sacrifice for it inspired others. With all the brilliant individuals surrounding him—John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Alexander Hamilton, and others—Washington was the one to whom they indisputably looked as the greatest leader among them.

Under Washington’s leadership and the culture he helped create, connection among the colonists united them to defeat the preeminent military power of their age and set the stage for a new nation to emerge.

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Although it is not mentioned in the above piece I wrote, while researching Washington I came across a story about Barbara Tuchman, the two-time, Pulitzer Prize winning historian. Mrs. Tuchman, as she liked to be called, had a sharp mind and passion for truth. Fellow historians such as David McCullough hold her and her work in high esteem for the quality of her writing, her unrelenting pursuit of truth in history and what wisdom we can discern from the lessons of our past. While writing her final book, which was about the American Revolution and entitled The First Salute, Mrs. Tuchman struggled and was frustrated with failing eyesight. With the help and encouragement of her daughter, Mrs. Tuchman persevered. During the times when she struggled, Mrs. Tuchman and her daughter adopted a motto to boost their spirits. The motto was “Think of George.”

Staying Connected to Your Kids

Michael Lee Stallard — Mon, 21 Feb 2011 13:35:19 +0000

The writer Jeff Benedict just emailed me some beautifully written and wise words he posted on his blog about staying connected with his son. I hope you’ll take the time to check it out at this link.

Alter+Care: Happiness at Work Podcast

Michael Lee Stallard — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 01:43:03 +0000

Jason Pankau and I recently recorded a podcast interview on happiness at work for Alter+Care, the healthcare real estate company. You can hear the podcast at this link.