One of the scenes that stood out the most at the Milan Cortina Winter Olympics wasn’t during the competition. It was a moment shortly after the last skater’s score was announced in the ladies free skate – the score that determined podium placement for three talented athletes.

American skater Alysa Liu realized she had just won the gold, but one of her first actions was to celebrate the bronze medal won by a 17-year-old first-time Olympian from Japan. Asked about that moment during an interview, she said:

“Human connection is what I’m all about and I love sisterhood. I’m an older sister myself and I carry it on with – I would call her a teammate of sorts. We’re all in this sport together so we share the love.”

Lack of connection and loneliness were contributing factors to the burnout that led Liu to step away from the sport at age 16. Her unprecedented comeback has been fueled in part by investing in relationships that keep her grounded and discovering a higher purpose for skating than simply winning.

Alysa’s story reminds me of some lessons that I learned about burnout earlier in my career. I wrote about Alysa’s story and my own journey for SmartBrief on Leadership. I hope it is a helpful reminder that reconnecting relationally and finding meaning in what we do can help us find the path forward.

Photo by freestocks on Unsplash

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I have a film recommendation for you: the beautiful and timely award-winning documentary Defining Moments: The Life and Leadership of Quiet Revolutionary Frances Hesselbein. I attended a screening in New York City in May and it deeply resonated with me. If you are not yet familiar with Frances Hesselbein, I can tell you she was a positive, connection-minded leader and one to emulate.

Leader, advisor, mentor, encourager, and friend to many—from young Girls Scouts in western Pennsylvania, across the US and the world, to cadets and officers in the military and at the United States Military Academy at West Point, to CEOs of major corporations and non-profit organizations, Mrs. Hesselbein lived to the remarkable age of 107, bearing witness to more than a century of history. The documentary thoughtfully portrays her life and leadership philosophy—principles that are precisely what we need in today’s government, businesses, and social sector organizations.

The film opens with Mrs. Hesselbein reflecting: “In our country and in many parts of the world, we have the lowest level of trust and the highest level of cynicism in my whole lifetime. What will sustain the democracy is the big question.”

Trust in leadership stems from our assessment of a leader’s competence, dependability, and familiarity with their life and character. It is also influenced by our perception of whether a leader is driven by a genuine desire to serve others or by self-interest. Is it all about them or about the mission, the organization, and a positive future?

“Leadership is a matter of how to be, not how to do,” Frances Hesselbein was known to say. “It is the quality and character of the leader that determines the performance and results.” The guiding principle in her life was articulated in this phrase that she embodied: To serve is to live.

In the film, we are shown several defining moments in Mrs. Hesselbein’s life that invite trust and admiration:

• As a little girl, she was deeply affected when she learned about the respect her grandmother had shown to a Chinese immigrant while other people in the town were indifferent to him or disrespectful. It led her to embrace the value of respect for all people.
• At age 17, following the death of her father, she left college to support her mother and two younger siblings. She continued her education part-time, attending classes in the evenings and on weekends.
• In her mid-30s, she stepped in to be the volunteer leader of a local Girl Scout troop of 30 ten-year-old girls when the previous leader moved away—even though she had no daughters herself, only an elementary-aged son. When told she was their last hope or the troop would need to disband, she agreed to take the post, temporarily, until a permanent leader could be found. Several weeks turned into eight years; she stayed with those girls until they graduated from high school. Her attitude of service began a 40-year relationship of increasing leadership responsibility within the Girl Scouts of the USA.
• When invited to interview for the role of CEO of the Girl Scouts of the USA, she traveled from her home in Johnstown, Pennsylvania, to New York City. Though she did not believe they were seriously considering her for the position, her husband urged her to go. During the interview, she spoke candidly about how she would completely transform the organization. To her surprise, they offered her the job. She became the first CEO to be chosen from within the organization and served from 1976-1990.
• Under her leadership, the Girl Scouts replaced a hierarchical leadership style with a more networked circular-leadership model, modernized its programs, expanded its reach to younger girls, and broadened its appeal while staying true to its core values. As one person observed, Mrs. Hesselbein put herself in the center of the organizational chart, not at the top. The comeback from the decline the Girl Scouts had been in was remarkable: the mainly volunteer workforce grew to 780,000 individuals, minority membership tripled, and total membership grew to 2.25 million girls.
• She developed a close and collaborative partnership with Peter Drucker, the father of modern management, who once said she was the greatest leader he had ever met—and that she could lead any organization. Coming from Drucker, who had worked with leaders like General Motors’ Alfred Sloan and U.S. President Dwight Eisenhower, that was a profound endorsement.
• The year she retired from the Girl Scouts, Drucker invited her to be the founding president of a new endeavor, The Peter F. Drucker Foundation for Nonprofit Management. She established it as a widely-respected source of leadership thought. (The foundation was later renamed the Leader to Leader Institute then became The Frances Hesselbein Leadership Forum in 2017 and now offers leadership resources and inspiration to leaders working in every sector of industry and around the world.) The foundation’s journal, Leader to Leader, became an award-winning publication under her guidance and continues to be so today.
• She was the first woman, and first civilian, to be appointed to be the Class of 1951 Chair for the Study of Leadership, a two-year position at West Point.

Her broad impact was formally recognized in 1998 as President Clinton bestowed upon her the Presidential Medal of Freedom—the highest civilian honor in the United States. After commending her work with the Girl Scouts, the citation stated: “She has worked to imbue other nonprofit groups with the hallmarks of true leadership: openness to innovation, willingness to share responsibility, and respect for diversity. With skill and sensitivity, Frances Hesselbein has shown us how to summon the best from ourselves and our fellow citizens.” Fortune magazine named her to its 2015 list of the world’s 50 greatest leaders. The obituary written by The New York Times in 2022 described her as a transformative and innovative leader.

I had the privilege of knowing Mrs. Hesselbein personally, and of contributing several articles to Leader to Leader over the years. She encouraged me to share my work on the importance of human connection in organizational cultures and I have previously written about her and ways that she fostered a culture of connection at the Girls Scouts of the USA.

Frances Hesselbein exemplified mission-driven, values-based leadership grounded in the character strengths of humility, love, and service. Defining Moments, in presenting the attitudes, words, and actions of this quiet revolutionary, captures her warmth, intelligence, and leadership wisdom, and emphasizes that a leader’s character is central to their effectiveness. This message feels particularly urgent today, as we begin to reckon with the consequences of overlooking character in those entrusted with power.

In the eulogy that he delivered at her memorial service several years ago, then U.S. Secretary of Defense Lloyd J. Austin III, a retired U.S. Army four-star general, spoke of his mentor:

Frances was one of the best leaders and managers in America, even without formal training. She was a mentor who drew out the very best in people. She was a trailblazer. She was a cheerleader for those working for progress. And she was a fighter —someone fiercely devoted to our democracy and determined to make our country better. …

Frances was a national treasure. But she never wanted to be put up on a pedestal. She wanted to help. She wanted to work. And everything she did reinforced a greater purpose. She showed us how to be the leaders we needed to be for those we serve.

With the prevalence of low trust and low employee engagement in a period of much change in the U.S. and abroad, I firmly believe we need more leaders like Frances Hesselbein. The film’s message is just what we need to hear at this inflection point in history. It is already beginning to receive recognition, winning a Telly Award for excellence in video and television, and being nominated for a Leo Award for Best Musical Score in a Short Documentary from the British Columbia Film and Television Industry, and I’m sure more awards will follow.

If you know of an organization that would benefit from a screening of Defining Moments, I encourage you to reach out to me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com. I’ll be happy to connect you with the film’s executive producer, Sarah McArthur.

The film closes with this observation from Ms. McArthur, Editor-in-Chief of Leader to Leader and a close friend and collaborator of Frances’: “She showed us the principles to live by: humility, love, service, inclusion, respect for all people, listen first, speak last. She showed us how to go towards a bright future.”

Watch the trailer for Defining Moments on YouTube.

Photo Credit: Girl Scouts of the USA

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The month of May marks a time of transition across college campuses in the U.S. as students who have completed their degrees celebrate graduation and prepare to embark on their next chapter.

On the campus of TCU (Texas Christian University), Victor Boschini recently handed out diplomas and paused to pose for photographs for the final time as the school’s chancellor. Thankfully for the TCU Horned Frog family, the transition for this “super connector” has him remaining on campus in his new role as chancellor emeritus.

I’ve written before about TCU’s rise from regional liberal arts college to nationally recognized university, but the stats are astounding. For example:

• Since Boschini’s tenure began, TCU’s first-year student retention rate has risen from 83.5% to an all-time high of 94.3% in 2023. This compares to a national average retention rate of 70.57% and an average retention rate of 68.17% for schools in Texas.
• The Princeton Review ranks TCU among the top 10 colleges in categories such as best-run colleges, happiest students, and best quality of life.
• The university’s “Lead On: A Campaign for TCU” philanthropic initiative surpassed its $1 billion goal.
• Student interest has surged, with more than 22,000 applications for fewer than 2,500 freshman spots in the 2024-2025 academic year.

Irrespective of the sector or size of group that you’re in, there are important lessons you can learn from this successful leader and teacher about the power of connection that you can apply in your own setting. In a recent article published by SmartBrief on Leadership, Katharine P. Stallard and I explore what Chancellor Boschini has shared with us about his leadership philosophy and the importance of connection.

Click here to read it (free access and no registration required, so you can close out of the optional sign up if prompted).

Photo of Chancellor Boschini courtesy of Texas Christian University

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First published by Smartbrief on Leadership

As artificial intelligence continues to advance, the internal workings of Microsoft should be a matter of interest to more than just its employees and shareholders. Being a major player in AI, Microsoft will face considerable opportunities, challenges, and even threats of enormous magnitude in the years to come. Is Microsoft ready to navigate well if the sometimes smooth, sometimes choppy waters in the world of technology suddenly turn chaotic?

Highlighting the fragility of our technology infrastructure, last month, a glitch in a software update from the cybersecurity firm CrowdStrike caused computer systems running the Microsoft Windows operating system to crash. And while Microsoft estimated that it affected 8.5 million Windows devices, or less than one percent of all Windows machines, the incident wreaked havoc on organizations worldwide. But it also showed us something about Microsoft as it collaborated and worked quickly with CrowdStrike, Microsoft’s customers, and competitors, including Amazon Web Services and Google Cloud Platform, to remedy the situation.

Looking at Microsoft Through the Lens of Connection Culture

Satya Nadella and his senior leadership team at Microsoft are currently on a roll. Microsoft’s annual revenue has soared from $86 billion to $236.6 billion since Nadella became CEO in 2014 and its stock price has increased 12-fold. It’s no wonder Nadella has been recognized this year as the CEO most admired by fellow Fortune 500 CEOs.

In our work with leaders, we teach them that task excellence + relationship excellence = sustainable superior performance. Of the two equally important variables in that equation, most leaders put the focus on pursuing task excellence, neglecting or downplaying the critical piece of fostering relationship excellence. The peril, as we point out, is that a failure of relationships sabotages tasks and results. A group with a culture of relational disconnection may see short-term success but growing disengagement will hold it back. That’s true, whether it is a small team or a large organization operating globally.

Satya Nadella is clearly not like most leaders. He has developed both task and relationship excellence at Microsoft and has earned the trust of the company’s 221,000 employees who feel connected to him and, as a result, are willing to go all out to achieve the company’s vision.

The employees’ day-in and day-out, lived experience of the culture matters to Nadella. It is foundational. He has said, “[…] in order to get your strategies right and products right, you need two things that really anchor you: that sense of purpose and mission, which gives you direction, and then culture, which makes it even possible for you to pursue that mission.”

Looking through the lens of our Connection Culture framework (see diagram below) with its relationship excellence elements of Vision, Value, and Voice, this article briefly explores how Satya Nadella has cultivated relationship excellence that makes people at Microsoft feel connected to not just him, but to each other and to Microsoft’s customers.

Connection Culture Model of Leadership

©2024 E Pluribus Partners and Michael Lee Stallard

Vision: Uniting Around a Shared Purpose

A compelling vision and mission should inspire an organization’s employees and provide a shared sense of where they are going, why it’s important to get there, and how they are going to get there. It is the banner under which an organization’s goals and activities should align.

Back in 1975, when computers were still massive and required a temperature-controlled room, Microsoft’s founding vision and mission was bold: “A computer on every desk and in every home.” That rallying cry was still in place when Satya Nadella joined as an engineer in 1992. By the end of the 1990s, that once audacious goal was conceivable. Under Steve Ballmer, who followed Bill Gates as CEO in 2000 and preceded Nadella, the qualifying phrase of “running Microsoft software” was added at the end of the vision.

Under Nadella’s leadership, the vision and mission have changed from being centered on Microsoft’s success to focusing more widely on the success of its customers. In 2017 Microsoft announced its strategic vision is “to compete and grow by building best-in-class platforms and productivity services for an intelligent cloud and an intelligent edge infused with AI.” Microsoft’s vision has evolved from being a traditional software company to a forward-thinking technology leader that employs cloud computing, artificial intelligence, and quantum computing to usher in an “intelligence revolution” that allows people to complete more complex tasks while reducing their cognitive load. Nadella articulates this vision by emphasizing Microsoft’s mission to “empower every person and every organization on the planet to achieve more.”

This vision and mission unite employees around a common purpose, driving the company towards significant milestones, such as the growth of Azure, Microsoft’s cloud platform, and the integration of AI capabilities across its product suite. By clearly communicating this vision, Nadella has created a sense of unity and direction that motivates employees to contribute their best efforts towards shared goals.

Value: Respecting and Caring for People

Creating a culture of connection in which employees feel valued as individuals and not treated as mere means to an end requires respecting and caring for people, appreciating and recognizing them for their contributions.

Nadella’s approach to leadership prioritizes getting to know people, including their personal lives, listening to and understanding employees’ needs, and fostering a supportive environment where individuals feel valued and motivated.

It is notable that Nadella views empathy as a core leadership trait. In his book, Hit Refresh: The Quest to Rediscover Microsoft’s Soul and Imagine a Better Future for Everyone, Nadella wrote about personal experiences that have shaped his leadership philosophy in that regard, particularly how the experience of parenting a special needs child impacted him on many levels, opening his perspective. His son Zain, the eldest of his three children, was born with cerebral palsy and passed away in 2022 at age 25. Nadella also credits his wife, Anu, for how she models empathy and for teaching him how to forgive himself. Expanding on that in an interview published in Good Housekeeping, he shared: “Once you come to that deeper realization [that none of us is or will be perfect], you don’t judge as quickly, you listen better and you can amplify people’s strengths versus dwelling on their weaknesses. I think my road to empathy has been possible because of my ability to confront my own mistakes and shortcomings.”

Discussing the role of empathy in a conversation with David Rubenstein on leadership, he spoke of it as “an existential priority for business” and he linked it to innovation. “Our business is to meet the unmet, unarticulated needs of customers. There is no way [this will] come about if we don’t listen — not just to the words, but go deep to understand what the needs are behind it. Empathy is core to innovation. Life’s experiences, if you listen and learn from them, teach you.”

Under Nadella’s leadership, substantial efforts have been made to instill a sense of human value within the culture. Initiatives that demonstrate his commitment to valuing employees range from introducing flexible work policies and investing in employee well-being programs to beginning senior leadership team meetings by celebrating a group in Microsoft that is doing amazing research.

“Care is the new currency for every leader,” he wrote in his letter in Microsoft’s 2021 Annual Report. “Our managers strive to model our culture and values in their actions, to coach their teams to define objectives and adapt and learn, and to care deeply for their employees, seeking to understand their capabilities, ambitions, and invest in their growth.”

Voice: Encouraging Open Communication

The element of Voice is about ensuring people throughout the organization feel they have the opportunity to share their ideas and opinions and they are informed on matters that are important to them. In a culture of connection, this honest dialogue will happen in a manner that safeguards relational connections. A culture that encourages ongoing open communication empowers employees to contribute meaningfully and fosters innovation.

Under Nadella’s leadership, Microsoft has made significant strides in promoting a culture of curiosity and open communication. By shifting Microsoft’s corporate mindset from a “know-it-all” organization to a “learn-it-all” organization, Nadella has cultivated an environment where employees are encouraged to seek knowledge, adapt, and grow.

In Hit Refresh, Nadella described the importance of creating a feedback-rich environment in which employees feel comfortable voicing their opinions and ideas. Toward that end, he has implemented regular town hall meetings and open forums where employees can directly engage with leadership and discuss their concerns and suggestions.

Recognizing that a diverse workforce brings a variety of perspectives and ideas to the table, Nadella has championed diversity and inclusion initiatives. By promoting an inclusive environment, Nadella ensures that all voices are heard and valued, spurring innovation and collaboration across the organization.

Striving to Be a Connected, Collaborative, and Cooperative Organization

The cultural shifts at Microsoft reflect Nadella’s belief that the “C” in his job as CEO stands for culture. “What I realize more than ever now is that my job is curation of our culture,” Nadella shared in an interview. “If you don’t focus on creating a culture that allows people to do their best work, then you’ve created nothing.”

Nadella sees Microsoft’s culture as embodying a “growth mindset,” characterized by an obsession with customers, decision-making derived from a diversity of opinions and perspectives, and behavior that reflects “One Microsoft” — a connected, collaborative, and cooperative organization both internally and with customers and strategic partners.

Satya Nadella exemplifies a leader who is intentional about creating a culture of human connection that fosters both task excellence and relationship excellence. His dedication to working under a shared vision that inspires growth, valuing employees, and giving them a voice has unlocked productivity and innovation, elevating Microsoft’s performance and positioning the organization to navigate what is likely to be a tumultuous decade ahead.

As leaders look to cultivate similar cultures within their teams and organizations, Nadella’s example serves as a powerful testament to the impact of human connection on achieving sustainable success and preparing for a challenging future.

Katharine P. Stallard co-authored this article. 

Image of Satya Nadella by Brian Smale and Microsoft via Wikimedia Commons under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Image has been cropped. 

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Do you feel like the inner flame that motivates you in your personal and professional life has dimmed? Answering a few questions will provide insight into how you can rekindle your inner light. Before we pose the questions, though, let us share a story that illuminates why contemplating them is so valuable.

Doug Conant’s Story: Being Honored and Honoring Others

Doug Conant is the leader who turned around Campbell Soup Company when he served as President and CEO (2001-2011). We’ve previously written about how Conant held senior leaders accountable for improving employee engagement at Campbell’s and the tremendous difference it made.

We had a long conversation with Conant recently and came away very encouraged by how his views on leadership are aligned with what we advocate about connection and fostering connection cultures. In particular, we wanted to know more about him as a person and how he developed into a leader who cares about people. Who had influenced him? We learned that his journey to the top of the corporate ladder hadn’t come without obstacles.

Albert Schweitzer once wrote: “In everyone’s life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit.” At a tough juncture in Doug Conant’s career that person was Neil MacKenna.

Conant was a 32-year-old director of marketing at Parker Brothers Toy and Game Company near Boston when he was stunned to hear the VP of marketing tell him, “Your job has been eliminated. Clear out your desk by noon.” He was hard-working and competent, and now fired. How could this be happening? Hurt, angry, crushed, humiliated, self-pity, dread are words he uses to capture his reaction to the place he now found himself in. (How many workers cut loose in the wave of recent lay-offs can relate?)

The exit package included outplacement counseling and that is how Conant met the man who would greatly shape him as a leader. Conant describes Neil MacKenna as a wonderful, tough-as-nails, crusty New Englander. He was a decorated veteran of World War II and graduate of Harvard Business School who “didn’t suffer whining or a victim-y ’poor me’ attitude.” Throughout the outplacement process, Conant was struck by how MacKenna was fully present, listened intently and earnestly, and genuinely wanted to be of help. He felt honored by MacKenna. A bond of connection formed between them that would last until MacKenna passed away almost 20 years later.

At their second meeting, MacKenna gave Conant the take-home assignment to write out his life story, by hand, and with as much detail as he could. That kind of thorough self-reflection was not something Conant had done before. When they were back together to talk it over, MacKenna called Conant out on the disconnect between the man coming through on paper and the man Conant presented to others. As Conant recounts in The Blueprint: 6 Practical Steps to Lift Your Leadership to New Heights, MacKenna told him, “What you’re showing to the world is a modest guy who goes with the flow. But the Doug who wrote this story is a leader and a fighter.”

Working with MacKenna, Conant came to realize that in trying to be the person that others wanted him to be or expected him to be, whether it was his parents, teachers, coaches or bosses, he was not being true to himself. Talking with us about this, Conant paraphrased a quote from Brene Brown that resonates with him: “You can either walk inside your story and own it, or you stand outside of your story and hustle for your worthiness every day.” Going on, he said, “I needed to write my own story. I needed to figure out what matters most to me and how I want to show up with passion and enthusiasm, and bring my best self to work every day.”

Secondly, MacKenna had him think about the people who had honored him along his life’s journey. Then he challenged Conant to be more like them in honoring others.

The positive emotions Conant experienced from connecting with MacKenna made him more aware of how fully connecting with others affects them in positive ways. He wanted to have that kind of positive effect on people in his life and began being more intentional about connecting. Going forward, he would connect with, support, honor and serve the people in his life in ways that reflected excellence, including his family and friends, and the people with whom he worked.

One practice he embraced as a result of his newfound insights was to actively look for ways to praise and encourage others, and to celebrate their contributions. Not only did he praise people verbally, but he became the most prolific writer of handwritten notes we’ve ever known (which we will share more about in a future article).

In our conversation, he shared: “When I look back on the people who had a profound influence on me – and that’s what leadership is all about, having a profound influence on people to move them in a particular direction that’s good for the enterprise and good for them – they had two characteristics that really jumped out. They had very high standards for me and they loved me to death. They cared.” He noted, “I dealt with a lot of people who had high standards who didn’t care and I dealt with a lot of people who cared a lot but really didn’t lift me up and challenge me. The people who had the most profound impact were, in my language, tough-minded and tender-hearted.” High on his list, Conant told us, are his grandparents and… Neil MacKenna.

“The learning that came out of losing my job was enormous,” Conant declared. It ultimately reframed his view of leadership and prepared him for bigger roles.

Conant would go on to hold a number of senior leader positions, including president of the Nabisco Foods Company, president and CEO of Campbell Soup Company, and chairman of Avon Products. He is now an author, speaker, teacher and executive coach at Conant Leadership.

Your Story: Connecting through Honoring and Serving One Another

Being in environments rich with human connections in which colleagues, friends and family members are honoring and serving one another can be life-changing and rekindle your inner flame.

We can’t give what we don’t have so we need people in our lives who honor, serve and connect with us to support us through the inevitable ups and downs of life, including our time at work. We need people who help us learn, grow and achieve our potential so we can make our contribution to the greater good.

So, as you reflect on your life story up until this point, ask yourself:

1. Who are the people in my life that I have strong connections with and who support me so that I achieve my potential?
2. What is it about them that makes me feel so connected?
3. Do I need to develop more supportive relationships that give me the connections I need to be my best self, do my best work and make my greatest contributions?

After thinking about the supportive relationships in your life, consider how you are supporting others. Ask yourself:

1. Who am I connecting with, honoring and supporting so they will achieve their potential?
2. Through my words and behaviors, can they tell that I care about them as individuals and I believe in them?
3. Am I encouraging them to become an even better person by expecting the best of them and holding them to high standards?

As Conant reminds us in The Blueprint: “[Y]ou can be more like the people who have helped you become the person you are today; you can be that person for the people with whom you live and work. You already know what it looks like. You’ve lived it. And you know, from your memories of these people, that the way they behaved toward you is the way other people also deserve to be treated.”

Creating and fostering a culture of connection in which people are honoring and serving one another will lead to healthier individuals, communities, organizations, and a stronger and better society, something that’s very much in need today.

This article was coauthored by Katharine P. Stallard. 

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Sitting in the historic St. Bartholomew’s Church in Manhattan before the start of the memorial service for Frances Hesselbein, my thoughts turned to one of the last days I spent time with the remarkable woman who had led the Girl Scouts of the U.S.A. back from decline decades earlier and transformed it into what Peter Drucker described as “the best-managed organization around.”

Frances and I liked to get together periodically for long lunches at Peacock Alley, a restaurant in the Waldorf Astoria Hotel near her office on Park Avenue. Arriving early to pick her up that day, I found her meeting with two women and a Girl Scout. Frances’ attention was entirely on the girl. They had this marvelous connection — the girl who looked to be in elementary school and the woman who, at that time, was over 100 years of age. It was my good fortune to witness how Frances, one of the world’s most respected leaders, used her inestimable powers of human connection and personal warmth to love this young girl to the point that she was visibly beaming with joy and wonder that this famous woman was focused on her.

I wasn’t surprised by the girl’s reaction. When Frances spoke with you, you felt like you were the only person in the room. She was optimistic (“My blood type is B positive,” she would often say), and she expected the best in others. Frances had a positive life force about her and her radiance lit up the people in her orbit.

Frances took my arm when it was time to head to lunch. During our brief walk across Park Avenue, she reminded me of her philosophy (and Twitter handle), “to serve is to live.” I knew that these were words she lived by. Frances served girls and women through her work with the Girl Scouts, from the time she agreed to be an interim Scout leader in the late 1940s through her retirement after 14 years as CEO in 1990, and beyond. She served leaders of not-for-profit organizations through the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute. She served military leaders and their families through her work at The U.S. Military Academy, where she taught and lectured on leadership, and the Military Child and Education Coalition.

We talked about a variety of issues over that nearly two-hour lunch. One that I clearly remember was her point of view on a matter of faith. Frances explained that she focused on people’s character rather than their religious beliefs. If they were serving others and the common good, she embraced them. As a result, she helped and worked with a wide variety of people all around the world who professed different beliefs in God or no belief at all. Their character was what mattered most to her.

Near the end of our lunch I told Frances that I had come across a translation of a Bible verse that reminded me of her. The Old Testament verse described King David’s leadership of the people of Israel. David, as you may recall, was the shepherd boy who defeated Goliath, the seemingly undefeatable Philistine giant who was taunting the Israelite troops, and went on to become Israel’s king. I shared with Frances how verse 72 of Psalm 78 in the New Living Translation captured King David this way:

He cared for them with a true heart and led them with skillful hands.

Frances thought about it for a minute, then, in dramatic fashion, leaned forward toward me, saying, “He cared for people first.”

This could be said about Frances too. As an effective leader, she excelled at management tasks such as communicating an inspiring vision and mission, and setting goals and aligning people and tasks to accomplish them. In addition, she excelled in developing strong, supportive relationships that connected with people and, as a result, they trusted her and wanted to follow her. That is what made her a truly great leader.

It wasn’t just who she served through her life’s work but how she served that reflected Frances cared about people first. She believed in the inherent value of every human being and that they deserved to feel connected and included, irrespective of any differences. To her, valuing all people and giving them a voice in matters that were important to them was the right thing to do. She also understood that it was the wise thing to do because people who feel they belong are spiritually and emotionally empowered to do their best work. And work they did! People gave their best efforts for Frances because she helped them feel they were part of a worthy mission and showed them she cared about them.

As one of the best examples of a leader who connected with people and cultivated a culture of connection, Frances is profiled in both of my books, Connection Culture and Fired Up or Burned Out. In leading the Girls Scouts, the way Frances cared about people was evident through her attitudes, words and actions. Here are a few:

• She kept up with what was going on in the lives of those around her and personally reached out to anyone when congratulations or consolation were in order.
• She invested in training to help people learn and grow.
• Frances approached communication in an inclusive way, believing that it was imperative to listen and respond to one another and to expand information out in ever-larger circles across the organization. Rather than lecturing, her style was to ask insightful questions to draw out relevant issues.
• In planning and allocating resources, she introduced a circular management process that involved nearly everyone within the organization.

Frances encouraged leaders to listen to the people they served and the people they were responsible for leading. When writing about the art of listening, she gave this advice: “Banish the ‘but.’” This is especially important when you are giving feedback. “‘But’ is nobody’s friend — listener or speaker. ‘And’ provides the graceful transition, the non-threatening bridge to mutual appreciation, the communication that builds effective relationships.”

Frances was able to continue spreading her leadership legacy when Peter Drucker recruited her to be the head of the Drucker Foundation (which was renamed the Leader to Leader Institute, and then the Frances Hesselbein Leadership Institute in 2012). Through its activities, including publication of the award-winning Leader to Leader journal, the institute is dedicated to carrying out the passion that both of them shared for strengthening leadership in the social sector. That dedication was further recognized in 1998 when Frances was awarded the Presidential Medal of Freedom by President Bill Clinton for her work as “a pioneer for women, volunteerism, diversity, and opportunity.”

During the memorial service and at the reception that followed, my heart was full as I listened to others tell their stories of how Frances touched their lives. Frances frequently encouraged others to “shine a light” and that was a recurring theme as we shared our remembrances. It was the light of her life that shined brightly and left a radiant glow on those she met.

Michael and Frances

Frances had a big impact on me by encouraging me to continue advocating for the importance of human connection in organizational cultures and the connection culture leadership model I developed. I will always be grateful that Leader to Leader published several of my articles over the years. Her friendship and example as a leader inspire me to “shine a light” through my work and in how I interact with others.

There are many things I will remember about Frances: her tremendous personal warmth, her wisdom and intelligence, her belief that our purpose on earth is “to love and be loved, in that order,” her “to serve is to live” mantra, and her powerful “defining moment” story about how her grandmother taught her to respect all people. But it is those words she said in a serious tone with unwavering conviction while leaning forward and looking directly into my eyes — he cared for people first — that are burned into my memory of who Frances was at her core as a human being and leader. How fortunate was I to know Frances for a few of her 107 years on this earth.

Portions of this article were excerpted from the 2nd edition of Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared Identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work.

Lead Photo Credit: Girl Scouts of the USA

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Yes, it’s true. You may be the most important person in your co-worker’s life.

Recent research shows Americans are spending more time alone following the height of the Covid-19 pandemic. To make up for the time we needed to stay apart during 2020 and 2021, you might think that the pendulum would swing to the other side and we would see people spending even more time together than before. That’s not happening for everyone.

This tendency, along with research that found 58% of American adults tested out as lonely, men are experiencing a friendship recession, and more people live alone and have fewer friends and acquaintances, is cause for concern. Loneliness and social isolation contribute to diminished physical and mental health, suicide ideation, and displacement aggression that could escalate to physical violence.

A co-worker who is lonely and feels isolated will not be able to give their best effort and function well as part of the team. It’s the people who feel invisible and left out who experience the most pain (which researchers describe as “social pain”). Being in that state may lead an individual to “act out” and even sabotage work performance.

Human connection is necessary for people to thrive in life. Given the continued loneliness epidemic, interactions at work may be a primary source of potential connection for your co-workers. That’s where you come in. Helping the people you work with meet their need for connection will not only improve their lives and help them do their best work but it will also improve the work culture and social environment of your team, department, and organization.

Now, we’re not saying you need to be best friends. We realize that some people are difficult to be around. That said, treating people with respect and doing what you can to promote a sense of belonging are important elements when it comes to fostering connection at work.

Here are three actions you can take:

1.  Acknowledge each individual.

It can be as simple as making eye contact and saying “Hi, [name]” when you first see the person that day. If a co-worker is holding back on participating in a meeting, consider drawing them into the conversation by asking a broad question such as,  “[Name], what do you make of this?”

2. Gain personal knowledge.

We bring this up frequently because it’s so important. Getting to know about your co-workers’ lives outside of work and sharing details about your life outside of work humanizes the other. Research by Professor Ashley Hardin shows that with more personal knowledge, people are more responsive to each other and less likely to back-stab or socially undermine the other person. Mike’s favorite question to gain more personal knowledge is “What are your interests outside of work?”. He then asks follow-up questions. You could ask someone who likes to read what their favorite genre is (historical fiction, mystery, self-help, etc.) or if they learned to  play an instrument as a child or played sports in their teens.

3. Act with kindness.

Look for small ways to show kindness to your co-workers. If you are going to get coffee, consider asking if you can bring them back a cup too. If you are going out for lunch, ask if they care to join you. Hold the door open for someone whose arms are full. Give a sincere compliment. Empathize with someone who is facing a challenge.

The holidays are a time of year when people are expected to spend time with family and friends. For those who are lonely or are experiencing disconnection, it can be an especially painful period. Through your attitudes, words, and behaviors at work that boost connection and convey positive interest in them, you can help ease their pain and give them hope for the future.

This article was co-authored by Katharine P. Stallard.

Photo by Zest Tea on Unsplash

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After Steph Curry’s phenomenal performance leading his team to win the 2022 NBA Championship and being named the 2022 NBA Finals Most Valuable Player, it’s abundantly clear that basketball is his superpower. But it’s not his only one.

Curry has a second superpower that most people are unaware of: he’s a super-connector. This second superpower supports Curry’s success in basketball and it contributes to the success of the Golden State Warriors basketball team.

Being both results driven and relationship minded, leaders such as Steph Curry foster a culture of connection in which individuals and groups can thrive. They do this as they communicate an inspiring vision that unites people, value people as individuals rather than treating them as mere means to an end, and give people a voice by seeking their opinions and ideas then considering their input. An easy way to remember the Connection Culture Model is Vision + Value + Voice = Connection.

How Curry Connects

In the profile of Curry in the 2nd edition of our book, Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work, we describe how he connects with his family and teammates, and how he cultivates a culture of connection on the Golden State Warriors team. Here are some examples:

Steph Curry has benefited throughout his life from the connection of a loving and supportive family. His father, Dell, played in the NBA for 16 years. His mother, Sonya, was a college athlete at Virginia Tech, where she and Dell met. A tearful Curry thanked them in his acceptance speech after being named the NBA’s Most Valuable Player in 2015. Specifically, he expressed his gratitude for his mom’s spiritual leadership and discipline, and his father’s example on and off the court. Curry is close to his sister, Sydel, and his brother, Seth, who is also a player in the NBA. In 2011, Curry married his wife, Ayesha, whom he had met in high school, and they have three children.

As a player and leader on the Warriors, Curry uses his skills to connect in ways that lift the performance of his teammates. He’s humble and doesn’t need to be in the spotlight. He had no problem becoming the number 2 scorer when the superstar Kevin Durant joined the Warriors and was named NBA Finals MVP in 2017 and 2018. Durant says about Curry: “The stuff you hear about Steph—as far as sacrificing, being selfless, caring about his teammates, caring about other people—is real, it’s not a fake, it’s not a facade. . . . He really is like that.”

The players around Curry know that he looks out for them and makes sure they feel included, whether it’s welcoming them when they are new to the team, passing the ball to them so they can take shots even when he could have taken the shot himself, or encouraging them. Quinn Cook said, “[Steph’s] happy for you when you do well. He’s always building you up if you’re going through anything.” Alonzo McKinnie observed, “If [Steph] sees us down, he’s coming to uplift us. He cheers up guys and gets guys in that good spirit. . . . It shows his character and the type of guy he is on and off the court.”

Commenting on Curry’s ability to come alongside teammates who may be at odds with each other, Klay Thompson says that he is “a very great voice of reason during times of turbulence.” Damion Lee has said, “For any leader, it’s about understanding what someone is going through and trying to help them and empathize as much as you can. [Steph] tries to build that and keep everyone together.”

Curry’s teammates and coaches praise him for engaging in individual and group conversations about how to make the team better. This includes helping individual players perform better or considering things the team can do together to improve their performance over the season.

Coach Steve Kerr observes, “Steph leads with his example, his work ethic, his humility. The players all love him. They love playing with him. They appreciate him so much.” San Jose Mercury News sports writer Mark Medina wrote that Curry brings joy to the team, noting “[Steph] will take half-court shots at the end of practice. He will leap out of his seat when a teammate completes a highlight reel. He will say or do things that will make people laugh.”

Seven Practices to Strengthen Your Team

While most of us will never be able to sink a shot from half court, let alone with the ease and accuracy of Steph Curry, we can emulate him in other ways.

1. We can encourage our teammates.
2. We can have our teammates’ backs.
3. We can help teammates achieve their potential.
4. We can welcome new teammates and help them connect with the team.
5. We can celebrate our teammates’ successes and empathize with their struggles.
6. We can facilitate collaboration and cooperation on the team.
7. We can shine the light of recognition on our teammates to help them feel connected and flourish.

By applying these connecting behaviors we see in Steph Curry as we interact with our teammates, we should see a positive difference in how people work together and the level of play rise for the whole team.

This article was coauthored by Katharine P. Stallard. 

Image courtesy of Wikipedia user Cyrus Saatsaz under the Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 4.0 International license. Image has been cropped.  

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Hubert Joly, a Frenchman and former partner at McKinsey & Co., blames the lack of connection in today’s organizations on the myopic views of economist Milton Friedman who advocated that the only thing that matters is maximizing shareholder value and on the popularity of a top-down, analytical and metrics-driven management philosophy that was exemplified by Robert McNamara in the 1970s. Joly believes in connecting with purpose and people, referring to it as “human magic” that results in “irrationally good performance.” He views it as being key to healing capitalism’s ills.

As former Chairman and CEO of Best Buy from 2012-2019, he led a spectacular turnaround of the consumer electronics retailer and witnessed the power of connection firsthand. He describes his experience in The Heart of Business: Leadership Principles for the Next Era of Capitalism. Joly wrote:

Through all my experiences, culminating in the incredible years at Best Buy, I have come to believe – to know – that purpose and human connections constitute the very heart of business. And I believe they should be at the heart of the necessary and urgent refoundation of business now underway. Capitalism as we have known it over the past few decades is in crisis. More and more people hold the system responsible for social fractures and environmental degradation. Employees, customers, and even shareholders expect much more from corporations than a blind pursuit of profit. Disengagement at work is a global epidemic. More recently, a new civil rights movement and the global Covid-19 pandemic have accelerated the need to rethink our system if we are going to tackle the enormous challenges facing us.

Tapping Into the Power of Connection

Human connection is a force that helps individuals and organizations thrive. Hubert Joly gets this. As I have advocated for almost twenty years now, the most effective leaders unite people and tap into the power of connection when they communicate an inspiring vision, value people and give them a voice. It’s this combination of Vision plus Value plus Voice that creates a culture of connection among people who work in an organization.

As people, we’re curious. Knowing how others go about sharing their vision, demonstrating they value people and increasing knowledge flows as they give people a voice might shed some light on our own situation and give us new ideas to try. That’s why over the years I’ve written numerous profiles of leaders who are results-driven and relationship-minded, including Alan Mulally, Frances Hesselbein, CNO Admiral Vern Clark, Duke’s Coach K, the rock band U2, and Costco, highlighting attitudes and actions that cultivate cultures of connection. Reading his account, I found Joly’s story to be compelling. Vision, Value, Voice and the resulting connection were on full display.

Vision

Leading Best Buy, Joly connected with people by communicating an inspiring vision and working to keep it front of people. One action taken was to articulate Best Buy’s mission, its “noble purpose,” as “enriching lives through technology.” More than just words on a page, business strategy was linked to the purpose and several key human needs were identified that could be enriched through technology. Joly wrote that this changed how they did business, spurring innovation and growth as Best Buy moved “from a business focused on transactions and selling products to one that developed solutions and lasting customer relationships.” It gave people who worked at Best Buy meaning by creating a mindset that everyone was serving a cause greater than themselves.

Vision was also boosted when stories that “connected purpose to practice” were shared on Best Buy’s blog and at company gatherings. To build positive emotions and a sense of momentum that Best Buy was making progress during the turnaround, “nuggets of good news” were communicated at every opportunity (e.g. “Look, we are growing in Chicago! And look at how well our small appliances are doing!”).

Value

Joly valued people and he viewed them as individuals rather than thinking of them as mere means to an end. He set out to “[create] an environment in which individuals flourish.” He got out and connected with people working on the front lines at Best Buy’s stores. He had the humility to learn from them (which reminded me of another Frenchman, the Marquis de Lafayette, who wrote that soldiers he commanded on the front line during the American Revolution were his greatest teachers). Joly restored generous employee discounts. And despite pressure from Wall Street, he made layoffs a last resort.

Crises often test a leader’s and an organization’s values. When Hurricane Maria devastated Puerto Rico in 2017, Best Buy responded quickly and with compassion. All employees working on the island were accounted for and needs were identified. All told, a cargo plane made 14 trips to Puerto Rico to deliver supplies such as diapers, water and food to employees there. Financially, every employee was given $200 in the first days after the storm to purchase emergency supplies and the organization continued to pay their wages for four weeks, providing a $1,000 advance early on, even though the three stores and distribution center were closed. It also flew 70 employees and their families who chose to evacuate Puerto Rico to the U.S. where they were reassigned to jobs at Best Buy stores in Florida.

Voice

Joly gave employees a voice to share their opinions and ideas and he was open about sharing information. For example, he shared the draft “Renew Blue” turnaround plan with 150 Best Buy managers to get feedback before presenting it to investors, an action that also showed he trusted they would not share non-public information on their publicly listed stock. No one leaked the plan.

Results

When Hubert Joly became Best Buy’s CEO in 2012, the organization’s survival was in question due to the competitive threat from online retailers including Amazon.com. Over the following seven years, Best Buy’s share price soared from $11 to $110. For Joly’s successful turnaround of Best Buy, he was recognized as one of the “100 Best-Performing CEOs in the World” by Harvard Business Review, one of the top 30 CEOs in the world by Barron’s and one of the top ten CEOs in the U.S. in Glassdoor’s annual Employees’ Choice Awards.

Armed with knowledge that came from witnessing the power of connection while leading Best Buy and having written a bestselling book about it, Joly is now on a mission to fix capitalism while serving as a senior lecturer at Harvard Business School. He’s fast becoming an important voice for the case to make connection a new theory of leadership and organizational culture.

Reflecting on his own leadership journey, Joly wrote: “Like many leaders of my generation, I long believed that emotions were not meant to be shared in a business encounter. I had a lot to unlearn. … Our employees are expecting us to be human, and they expect us to grasp who they are and to make them feel respected, heard, understood, and included. … Social connection… is at the heart of business.”

To learn more about Hubert Joly, read his book, The Heart of Business: Leadership Principles for the Next Era of Capitalism, watch his interview with John Baldoni and read this article about him by Sally Helgeson.

To learn more about Connection Culture, read the 2nd edition of Connection Culture: The Competitive Advantage of Shared identity, Empathy, and Understanding at Work, take the Linkedin Learning course “Creating a Connection Culture,” or hire us to give a keynote speech or lead a Connection Culture Workshop.

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Can we embrace the spirit of E Pluribus Unum and move forward in 2021 as people who value connection, cooperation and making progress together toward the common good? Whether your political leanings are toward the left, center or right, whether you identify as a conservative, moderate, progressive or liberal, the political divisiveness and social strife that marked 2020, and were on full display in the troubling events last week in Washington, D.C., underscore the need for cultures of connection to become the norm in our communities, workplaces and governing bodies. 

E Pluribus Unum, the Latin phrase meaning “out of many, one”, was the motto put forward by the committee of John Adams, Benjamin Franklin and Thomas Jefferson appointed on July 4, 1776 to design a seal for the brand new country. Out of many states (which, up until then, had been thirteen separate British colonies), one nation: the United States of America. Out of many groups of people, one people: Americans.

For the citizens establishing a new form of governance, the underlying rationale for America’s constitutional democracy grew, in part, out of their experience of being controlled by a monarch without having an adequate voice in matters affecting them. It was also informed by their knowledge of 150 years of religious wars in Europe and the resulting massive loss of human life following the Protestant Reformation that began in the 1500s. Setting out freedom of speech and freedom of religion, our system is based on tolerance among a diverse population, recognizing that we can agree to disagree on even the most important matters in life. The rule of law prevents individuals and governments from resorting to violence in order to get their way; constitutional checks and balances prevent individuals and governments from abusing the power the bestowed to them by the people.

Your Role: Preserving Democracy by Encouraging Connection Throughout Society

Each of us, whether we have formal leadership roles or not, can have a positive influence on boosting the bonds of human connection in our families, with our neighbors and co-workers, and in the larger society. Boosting connection begins with the mindset that connection is important to thrive in life and that it positively impacts the way in which people interact and work with each other. I thoroughly make that case in the recently-published second edition of Connection Culture.

Holding a connection mindset also means rejecting a leadership philosophy that demonizes those with whom you disagree or communicates every difference of opinion requires a fight. This applies in the workplace and in the public square. Demonizing leads to dehumanization which often ends in violence, verbal and/or physical.

The relational cultures in our families, workplaces, faith communities, educational institutions and community organizations is where we pick up and hone our social skills. Are the cultures you are in cultures of connection, control or indifference? Do you feel respected, recognized and part of the group? Or do you feel minimized, held back, marginalized or ignored? Are the attitudes, words and behaviors being modeled by those who have a leadership role connecting or disconnecting?

Cultures of control and cultures of indifference disconnect us from one another, harming us individually and collectively. Whereas, in a culture of connection, we learn to peacefully coexist and work together. We develop the important social skills of asking questions so that we learn others’ points of view; listening with the intent to understand, not just to reply; being open to considering the ideas of others as we make decisions; showing empathy; and finding common ground to act upon. This is the essence of a connection culture: individuals feel valued and included and their perspectives are welcomed; they feel seen and heard. These are the social skills that are necessary to sustain our constitutional democracy.

As I wrote in the Introduction of Connection Culture, if we are to be a country that values the dignity and inherent value of each individual, this is a time for entering into honest, open and productive dialogue. In all of the issues we are facing, we must go beyond just talking and take action to make lasting change. I believe we can collectively turn the tide if we are willing to be intentional about connection.

Connection Today Isn’t Easy But It’s Worth the Effort

The physical separation required for so many months in order to reduce the transmission of COVID-19 brought a new awareness of how connection is woven into our everyday and the challenges we face in connecting in a satisfying way when we need to be apart in order to keep each other safe. Technology has certainly helped to bridge some of the gap but it can only go so far in our building and maintaining authentic, life-giving connections with those around us. It has been said that communication is 7% spoken words, 38% tone of voice/volume and 55% non-verbal (body language). It is tougher to take in and correctly interpret non-verbal cues when we are working remotely and meeting over a video call.

Thankfully, in 2021, as COVID-19 vaccines reach greater portions of the population, we will be able to safely come together in each others’ physical presence again. As we reemerge this year, don’t be surprised if reconnecting may feel awkward at first. I expect many individuals will feel anxious as they begin to re-engage in-person because they are not accustomed to being in the presence of a number of other individuals. With intentional effort, patience and perseverance, we will become comfortable again, strengthen our social skills and reconnect.

If a connection culture had a pronoun, it would be we, not us and them. The framework of connection culture can help us as we strive to be “we, the people.” Won’t you join me and my colleagues at the start of this new year in committing to become “intentional re-connectors” who will be a positive force and champions for connection in 2021?

Photo by ElevenPhotographs on Unsplash

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