Tag Archives: connection cultures

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Rise of Lonely American Employees Undermines Productivity

Several facts recently caught my attention.

  • In 1940, 7.7 percent of Americans lived in one-person households. By 2000, that number more than tripled to 25.8 percent.  (In Manhattan, 48 percent of all households were one-person households in 2000.)
  • Between 1985 and 2004, the number of people with whom the average American discussed “important matters” dropped from three to two. During that same time period the percentage of people who had no one with whom they discussed important matters tripled to nearly 25 percent.
  • A study by Norman Nie and his Stanford colleagues found that as people spend more time on the internet, they spent less face-to-face time with other human beings. (Who’s not spending more time on the internet these days?)

These facts all point to the conclusion that loneliness is on the rise in America. As we pointed out in our book Fired Up or Burned Out and in The Connection Culture: A New Source of Competitive Advantage, people need human connection to thrive.  We are human beings, not machines.  When we don’t experience sufficient human connection, we dysfunction. This may include experiencing feelings of emptiness, boredom and depression.  It may lead some to engage in substance abuse to numb the pain.  Others may pursue illegitimate thrills to feel alive again and in doing so develop addictions to pornography, sexual encounters with prostitutes and one night stands, or taking excessive business risks.  These paths never end well for the individual, their families and friends, or for their organizations.  To combat the pervasive loneliness that’s damaging American society and organizations, leaders need to create Connection Cultures that unite people and develop “relationship excellence” that supplements efforts to develop “task excellence” in organizations.

There are three general types of cultures in organizations when it comes to relationships and connection.  

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Cure for a “Low Grade Boiling Rage”

My mind must have been on something else as I began to edge out a bit from a side street to make a left-hand turn onto a main thoroughfare.  At the same time, another driver was turning left onto the street I was on. I slammed on my brakes in time. Admittedly, the near miss was my fault and the driver I almost pulled in front of had every right to be upset.  What surprised me, however, was the intensity of his reaction.  He came unglued, turned blood red, repeatedly flipped me off and began spewing expletives and spittle.  The rage on his face is burned in my memory.  I kept an eye on him in my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t turning around to come after me.  Fortunately he didn’t.

Why are so many people angry these days?

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Danger: Falling Tyrants

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Check out this article in the Atlantic entitled “Danger: Falling Tyrants.”  The article makes a good point: emerging democracies in the Middle East following the Arab Spring may not result in governments that promote freedom. Influence, then, is all the more important, a point my friend Jeremie Kubicek makes in his fine book Leadership is Dead: Why Influence is Reviving It.

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We are Human Beings, Not Machines

Fired Up or Burned Out Book CoverWe are human beings, not machines. We have emotions, a conscience, hopes and dreams. We need to be respected, to be recognized for our contributions, to feel a sense of belonging, and we need autonomy, personal growth and meaning in our work. When these needs are met, it is life-giving.  When they are not met, it drains the life out of us.

When people relate to one another in ways that fail to reflect our shared humanity, it results in dysfunction.  Here are links to two recent articles that recognize the importance of emotions and the ability to connect with other human beings.  A New York Times magazine article entitled “The Korean Dads’ 12-Step Program” described a “Father School” where emotionally challenged Korean fathers learned to connect with their wives and children. And here’s a Wall Street Journal article entitled “On the Lesson Plan: Feelings” that describes business school efforts to help MBA students learn to connect relationally with others in the workplace.

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Should Leaders Care About Employee Happiness?

Should leaders care about employee happiness or is employee engagement a passing fad?  Let me frame this debate in a slightly different way that I believe provides the best answer.

As part of creating value, leaders need to be intentional about achieving both task excellence and relationship excellence because our research found that both are necessary to achieve sustainable superior performance i.e. Task Excellence + Relationship Excellence = Sustainable Superior Performance.  Both are also necessary if most employees are to experience a sense of satisfaction for the many hours they spend working.  If employees feel unsatisfied, they will not perform tasks at a level that reflects excellence for a sustained period of time.  They will likely be able to perform with excellence for a short period of time but eventually their lack of emotional energy will drag them down.

We are human beings, not machines.  Emotion matters, even in business.

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When Beauty Breaks Through Life’s Daily Drone






Airports can be dull, uninspiring places where it’s easy to drift into a numb, trans-like state of mind. But what if a group of people decided to break through the cacophony of sounds and sights at one of the world’s busiest airports by orchestrating a beautiful symphony of human voices. Thanks to a stunning T-Moble advertisement, we don’t have to imagine what it might look like. Check it out in the wonderful video above.

Watching the video reminded me of the joy people experience when they become engaged in and feel connected to their work. They move from the drone of daily work to a life-giving state where work is like making beautiful music. This only happens when one’s work brings truth, beauty and/or goodness into the world. It is one aspect of the first element in a Connection Culture that we call “Inspiring Identity.” Learn more about Connection Cultures and Inspiring Identity in Fired Up or Burned Out.

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Gap’s Chief Innovation Officer Recognizes Connection Required to Innovate

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I’m encouraged to see more leaders recognize that individuals and organizations need connection to thrive. Here’s a video of Polly LaBarre at MIX interviewing Ivy Ross, Gap’s Chief Innovation Officer, about the need for connection to innovate. To learn more about “Connection Cultures” download the Connection Culture Manifesto published by changethis.com. You can go even deeper into Connection Cultures by signing up for my new quarterly email newsletter after which you will receive an email that contains a link to a free download of Fired Up or Burned Out, the book that introduced Connection Cultures.

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Over-Connected, Are You?





Check out this thought-provoking presentation by MIT Professor Sherry Turkle.  It’s about the topic of her book entitled Alone Together. She does an outstanding job of articulating the risks of becoming addicted to virtual connections.

As human beings we need to feel connected to other people in order to thrive. I’ve written extensively about this in the Connection Culture Manifesto and in Fired Up or Burned Out.  We are human beings not machines.  We need to develop intimacy, trust and affection with our family members, friends and colleagues at work. Absent meeting the need for feeling connected to others, we dysfunction.  The subtle allure of feeling connected online can develop into addiction so we must guard against allowing virtual connections to crowd out time for face-to-face connection.  Striking the right balance is key.

In her presentation, Professor Turkle points out that virtual connection represents another threat in that it can crowd out time to be alone with ourselves.  I couldn’t agree more.  We need time to reflect on our lives and who we aspire to be.  This is essential to develop strength of character and moral confidence.  Nelson Mandela, in a letter he wrote in 1975 while incarcerated at Robben Island Prison, expressed this so well:

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World Vision Connects!

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One of the relief organizations my wife and I support is World Vision. These people are AMAZING and they do remarkable work that Nicholas Kristoff of The New York Times raved about in a recent column he wrote.

What I love about World Vision is that they are a force for connection.  They connect their employees, volunteers and donors with people in desperate need around the world. The result is a fired up organization that is making a difference.

The last two evenings I served as a volunteer to help out with the World Vision AIDS Experience that is presently in Greenwich, Connecticut through next Sunday. The experience takes you on a journey to see the lives of four African children affected by aids. The stories are both heartbreaking and heartwarming.  Everyone attending said they were moved and inspired.  Many become child sponsors or purchase a kit or bycycle to help one of the 77,000 World Vision Caregivers in 20 countries. (You can learn more about attending at no cost, which I very highly recommend, by clicking here.)

IMG_1387While volunteering, I met Kristin, an enthusiastic, motivated, bright young World Vision employee.   Speaking with Kristen made me see how well World Vision connects its workers and donors with those who are in need, not only financially to meet their needs for clean water, health care and education, but also relationally. Here’s an example.  At the end of the World Vision AIDS Experience, donors can sit down in an area where materials are available to write a letter (or, for very young donors, to color a picture) that is sent to the donor’s newly sponsored child.  Notice in the picture at top, above the young girl writing a letter to her sponsored child is a sign that says “Connect with Your Child.” How great is that!  Our family has connected with our child in Rwanda by periodically writing and sending gifts to her, and we’ve received letters in return.

As you may know, my blog is primarily about the power of connection in organizations and in life as part of what I refer to as a “Connection Culture” that I wrote about in Fired Up or Burned Out. World Vision’s ways are relevant to all organizations, including for-profit corporations. World Vision is more effective because they are intentional about connecting people to a cause greater than self and in doing so the people who are part of World Vision want to give their best efforts and align their behavior with the organization’s goals. Just to mention it, another benefit from connection that accrues to philanthropic organizations was identified in recent research conducted by Indiana University.  The research identified the #1 reason people stop giving to a philanthropic organization is they no longer felt connected.

How is your organization doing connecting your employees and customers to a cause greater than self?  If you don’t know, get some of your most fired up employees together and ask them “when have you felt proud about your organization” and after they tell you ask them to explain “why they felt proud?”. You will hear stories that will help you identify ways you can fire up people by connecting them to a cause greater than self.