This post is a continuance of my prior post on evil in organizational cultures.

The “dark triad” — psychopaths, narcissists and machiavellians — represents a small part of the population. What unties this group of destructive personalities is that they lack empathy for other human beings and care only about themselves. Some end up in correctional institutions while others end up in leadership positions where they create dog-eat-dog cultures or cultures that are indifferent to human beings (this is opposed to Servant Leaders who create “Connection Cultures”).

For some interesting thoughts on psychopaths in the C-suite, see this post by Larry Kahaner of the McGowan Fund and the link in his post to an article entitled “The Corporate Psychopaths Theory of the Global Financial Crisis” that appeared in the Journal of Business Ethics.  The book and movie entitled The Corporation make the argument that organizations that care only about profit have effectively become psychopathic.

The way to keep members of the dark triad out of positions of leadership and out of organizations is to educate everyone so that they understand what a healthy culture is, how it’s based on character strengths and virtues, and how organizations develop people with both character and competence.  One project we are working on with Scotiabank is creating a monthly piece for leaders entitled Leading with Character. Each month’s piece highlights a particular character strength, explains how it’s relevant to the organization and how to strengthen one’s leadership in ways that reflect the character strength.  If you are interested in learning more, please email me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com or call me at 203-422-6511.

Research by psychologist K. Anders Ericsson has shown it requires approximately 10,000 hours of intentional practice, with coaching, to become an expert.  Ten thousand hours is roughly equivalent to ten years of putting in 20 hours of practice a week.  The importance of perseverance and practice is obvious.

Every bit as essential to becoming great, yet less obvious, is the importance of developing the character strengths of humility and love.  Humility guides and encourages you to seek and truly accept coaching, and love is what allows you to give and receive the relational support of others needed to persevere through the inevitable ups and downs of life.

Years ago I met and spoke with Andre Agassi when he was playing a tennis tournament in Burbank, California.  This was during a period when Agassi had fallen from being one of the top players in the world to being so lowly ranked that it was difficult for him to get into major tournaments.  Andre had the skills but just wasn’t playing anywhere near the top of his game.  The Burbank tournament was the turning point.  Agassi won the tournament and went on to return to the ranks of the top tennis players in the world.  What happened? Agassi attributed his turnaround to the guidance, support, encouragement and love he received from his wife (tennis great Steffi Graf), his coach, and other family members and friends.  Before that time, Agassi had isolated himself.  He was trying to self-help his way back to greatness.  It is likely that he had grown lonely. When Andre humbled himself to accept coaching and connect relationally with a group of individuals whom he loved and who loved him, that’s when the magic happened.

I remember seeing Agassi walk around at the tournament and talk to people.  There were several policemen there and I remember observing him chatting with each of them.  When fans wanted an autograph, he patiently waited and signed each program or tennis ball.  Andre was humble and more grounded than I had expected.

I believe that one key to Agassi’s comeback is that he had developed greater heart.   The French word for heart is coeur, which is the root of the word courage.   By admitting he could not come back on his own and reaching out for the help of others, Andre showed courage.  Encourage means to give share one’s heart with another.  Along with the advice of his coach, Andre’s loving family and friends shared their hearts and encouraged him.

A formulaic phrase we use when working with organizations that want to thrive is this:  task excellence + relationship excellence = sustainable superior performance.  Time and again I’ve witnessed that it can’t only be about the product; people, and specifically connection among the people, is equally critical.  I see it here too.  Years of time on the tennis court plus the connection Agassi developed with his relational support system was the key to his rising to once again be among the top-ranked tennis players in the world.

This message — the need for love and encouragement, and for humility to accept advice from a coach or mentor — is especially relevant now when research has shown that many individuals feel left out and have isolated themselves relationally.  Research shows that people are more narcissistic and more people live alone today than at any time in U.S. history.   A quarter of Americans report they have not had a conversation with a close friend over the last six months.  They are struggling, like Andre did, and they desperately need our help to develop the courage, the heart, to take the risk of reaching out to connect with family and friends.   We need to encourage them, to share our hearts with them, so that they can find the heart to reconnect.  If a friend or family member has come to mind, I hope you will reach out and encourage him by sharing your heart.

In summary, if you want to be great at something, recognize that it will take years of persistent practice, develop the humility to learn from a coach who will help you see what you can’t such as your blind spots and advice on how to improve, and develop the courage to love family and friends. Your love will nourish them with emotional support and encouragement just as their love and encouragement will nourish you.   Encouraged and loved, you’ll find you can persevere through the peaks and valleys you’ll encounter along the way.

It’s surprising, isn’t it, that developing one’s heart is an essential but rarely mentioned element to achieve lasting greatness.  Like Andre Agassi, you may be great for a season, but it is utterly unsustainable unless you develop the “heart of a champion.”

We’ve been doing more work of late in the health care field, helping organizations such as the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center develop Connection Cultures that boost employee engagement and improve patient outcomes.   If you have a story to tell or are aware of practices that boost connection at hospitals, would you please post it on the comments below or email me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com. Thank you.

On that score, while speaking recently at Texas Christian University, a student, Romel Schearer, told me about the remarkable story of Bill Cabeen, a cardiologist who had the courage to connect with one of his patients, Nikki Luederitz, rather than remain disconnected in the name of “professionalism.”  Dr. Cabeen’s courage and support not only saved Ms. Luederitz’s life, it changed her in a profound way. To learn how, listen to “The Tale of Two Hearts.”

Apple is now the most valuable company in the world in terms of market capitalization and U2’s recent tour just became the highest grossing of all time, crushing the previous record held by the Rolling Stones.  Learn about Apple’s remarkable rise in market cap in this New York Times article and learn about U2’s claim as the greatest band of all time in this article from the Atlantic magazine’s website.

Apple and U2’s continued success begs the question, “what’s their secret?” One reason is the people who work at Apple feel connected to Steve Jobs and the members of U2 feel connected to Bono. The members of both groups also feel connected to one another as part of a “Connection Culture” that we wrote about in Fired Up or Burned Out. Learn more about how Steve Jobs connects by reading this interview I did with The Wall Street Journal’s Live Mint entitled “‘Think Different’ Makes Apple Stand Out”. To learn more about  how Bono connects with his band mates read  “To Boost Productivity, Connect with the Core.” Jason Pankau and I wrote it for the Leader to Leader  Journal.

Update: Next week, Jason and I will be speaking about Connection Cultures, leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston.  Next month I’ll speak with CNO Admiral Vern Clark, the former Chief of the U.S. Navy, at Wharton and Harvard Business School events in D.C.. In the coming months we will be speaking and teaching workshops at the NASA Johnson Space Center, TCU, the Connected Church Conference,  Greenwich (Connecticut) High School, Scotiabank and the Young Presidents Organization.  In addition, we will be teaching webinars for Scotiabank and McKesson Corporation.  The word about Connection Cultures is spreading.  Already we’ve committed to teaching nine workshops in 2012, five in the U.S. and four in Europe, for the Institute for Management Studies.  Many thanks to those of you who have told others about our work and emailed the Connection Culture Manifesto to family members, friends, and colleagues at work. We estimate that it has been downloaded by more than 20,000 people worldwide and praised by thought leaders such as the tech guru and venture capitalist Guy Kawasaki and William J. Holstein who writes for The New York Times and Business Week.

A leader I know and much admire is Howard Behar, the former president of Starbucks North America and Starbucks International. Howard tells about the time 14 years ago this month when he received a call in the middle of the night at his home in Seattle alerting him that three Starbucks employees at the Georgetown store in Washington, D.C. had been shot and killed, including an 18-year who had just recently begun at Starbucks, his first job.   Behar immediately called Howard Schultz, Starbucks’ CEO, who was in New York on vacation at the time.

What Schultz didn’t do, says a lot about his character.  He didn’t call Starbucks’ public relations people or lawyers.  Instead, Schultz chartered a plane and headed straight to Washington, D.C.  When he arrived, he spoke with the police then proceeded to the store to get the addresses of the three murdered Starbucks employees. He went to each of their homes, told their families he was sorry and shared in their tears.

Howard Schultz’s heart was broken.   He showed courage by expressing the grief he felt. Doing so contributed to helping the victims’ families, friends and colleagues. As awful as grieving the loss of a loved one or friend is, it’s far worse to grieve alone.

Howard Schultz’s empathy and compassion spoke loudly to Howard Behar, a leader who has a huge heart.  Behar left his former employer and joined Starbucks in part because the previous CEO he worked for advised him he “shouldn’t wear his heart on his sleeve.”   Schultz was the type of leader Behar wanted to work for, a leader he could respect and admire because of his courageous and compassionate heart,  a leader he wanted to give his best efforts to serve.

Howard Behar became part of the group of three leaders at the top of Starbucks who were referred to as “H²0” (i.e. Howard Schultz, Howard Behar and Orin Smith).  Behar had an enormous impact on Starbucks North America as its president then went on to become the first president of Starbucks International where he led it to spectacular growth.  After Behar retired, he continued to serve on Starbucks’ board of directors.  Behar was loved and respected throughout Starbucks for his heart and passion as well as his work ethic, open-mindedness and judgment about the retail business.  He became a Starbucks employee for the rest of his career, in no small part because his boss, Howard Schultz, had a heart.

One of the great privileges of my work is that I get to meet, observe and know leaders at a wide variety of organizations including businesses, government organizations, churches, universities and hospitals.  I’ve met quite a few who exercise frequently to keep their hearts and bodies fit for the long hours and no small number of them are also motivated by the desire to impress others with their physical presence, energy and competitiveness.   Regular physical exercise is certainly of value.  What many leaders miss, however, is the need to develop their hearts in ways beyond exercise that are even more important:  ways that produce the character strengths of love, kindness, compassion, gentleness and empathy.  A leader whose character is missing these strengths may have power over others but will never lead from influence that moves people to give their best efforts and align their behavior with the leader’s goals.  This truth is expressed in sayings such as you have to “earn the right to be heard” and “people don’t care what you know until they know that you care.”

Research has shown that 75 percent of employees in most American organizations today are not engaged at work.  They show up for the paycheck but don’t give their best efforts.  Part of this is because they don’t feel connected to their leaders. From where they sit, their leaders appear heartless and could care less about them.  That’s why developing the hearts of leaders is especially important to getting America back on the right track.

To develop heart, we must care about and serve others, including the people we lead: our colleagues at work; our spouses, children and parents; our friends; and the less fortunate in our midst who have nothing to give back to us.

As you serve, take the time to ask questions of others such as “where did you grow up?,” “how are you doing these days?,”  “what’s going on in your life?,” and “what do you enjoy in life?”  Slow down and listen closely.  Find out about the career aspirations of the people who report to you and help them learn and grow in ways that advance their careers. If you’re a leader, you can develop the heart of the people you lead by scheduling a teambuilding event where together you volunteer to serve at a local charitable organization and take time to connect with the people you meet.

Care about and serve the people in your life and in your community, and you will develop the strength of heart that helps you connect.

To learn more about leaders who have developed heart and who inspired the people they led, read the article we wrote for the Leader to Leader Journal entitled “To Boost Performance, Connect with the Core.”  It’s about Bono of the rock band U2 and Admiral Vern Clark, the second-longest serving chief of the United States Navy.    I also recommend Howard Behar’s book It’s Not About the Coffee and the book Carolyn Dewing-Hommes, Jason Pankau and I wrote on great leaders who connect entitled Fired Up or Burned Out.  In the coming months Jason Pankau and I will be speaking and teaching workshops on this topic at the the NASA Johnson Space Center, the M.D. Anderson Cancer Center, Scotiabank, Texas Christian University, the Young Presidents Organization, and on September 13, I’ll be speaking with Admiral Vern Clark in Washington, D.C. at breakfast and lunch events sponsored by the Wharton Club of D.C.

My mind must have been on something else as I began to edge out a bit from a side street to make a left-hand turn onto a main thoroughfare.  At the same time, another driver was turning left onto the street I was on. I slammed on my brakes in time. Admittedly, the near miss was my fault and the driver I almost pulled in front of had every right to be upset.  What surprised me, however, was the intensity of his reaction.  He came unglued, turned blood red, repeatedly flipped me off and began spewing expletives and spittle.  The rage on his face is burned in my memory.  I kept an eye on him in my rear view mirror to make sure he wasn’t turning around to come after me.  Fortunately he didn’t.

Why are so many people angry these days?

As you might guess, I have a theory about this. Many people have been chasing the proverbial golden ring for much of their adult lives and it’s not worked out as well as they had hoped.  With the economy continuing to struggle, a lot of people are frustrated. The people I know who are struggling the most are those who are working to feed their desire for more money and/or greater status. The purpose of their work is to serve themselves.

On Wall Street where I spent most of my career, most people are there for the money and status. (I was attracted for those reasons too.) They want to make enough money – frequently referred to as their “number” – so they can eventually quit their jobs and say “adios” to their employers.  In recent years, they feel like they’ve been moving further away from their number and this has left them frustrated and exhausted.  Today, more people on Wall Street are giving up on the Street altogether.  Of those who remain, many of them carry around just beneath the surface what Christian minister and author Rob Bell describes as a “low grade boiling rage.”  Although Wall Street is probably the most extreme, this phenomenon extends to other sectors of the American economy.

In contrast to those who work to serve themselves are the people I know who exhibit joy and contentment in their work in part because they serve a cause greater than themselves.  Their work brings meaning to their lives. My friend Paul Spiegelman is flourishing as the CEO of Beryl Companies, a private company founded by Paul and his two brothers.  Beryl brings goodness into the world by helping hospitals with call center support for doctor referrals and follow-up calls to check on patients who recently underwent treatment.  At Beryl they know they’re doing important work.  They describe their work as “connecting people to healthcare.” They also derive meaning from a corporate culture that treats employees like family.

My friend Rob Mathes is flourishing in part because he brings truth, beauty and goodness into the world through his music.  Over the last year, Rob composed an amazing orchestral work entitled “At Night a Song Is With Me,” co-produced “Symphonicities” with Sting and produced Matthew Morrison’s new CD (and much, much more).

Another friend named Ann is flourishing as she helps bring truth and goodness into to the world through her work as the Chancellor’s Associate for External Relations at a major university.  Ann’s energy is boundless.  In addition to her job responsibilities, she takes an active interest in students and their families. Ann is also a force to be reckoned with when it comes to raising funds to support breast cancer research.  Sometimes I’ve wondered if there are two Anns (identical twins perhaps?).

It’s somewhat ironic that another friend of mine named Traci Fenton is flourishing because she channeled her anger in a constructive way. When Traci was an collegiate exchange student in Indonesia during the end of President Suharto’s dictatorship, government spies overheard her conversation with an Indonesian friend in which views were expressed that were at odds with the Suharto government’s oppressive values. As a result, an Indonesian government thug threatened Traci’s friend and warned him to stay away from her “or else.” When her friend called to say he could no longer see her, Traci was outraged and extremely upset.  She knew this was wrong.  Unfortunately, at the time she could do nothing about it.

Years later Traci went to work for a large company only to learn that it had arrogant, authoritarian leaders who viewed employees-at-large as inferiors.  Being treated that way made Traci feel the same sort of anger she felt in Indonesia.  This time she decided she could do something about it.  She quit her job at the company and founded an organization to bring democratic values to the workplace.    She named it WorldBlu (blue is the color of freedom).

Today, Traci is the CEO of WorldBlu.  She serves a cause greater than self and she’s thriving, experiencing joy and contentment in her work despite the difficult economy, unlike many of my friends who toil away to make their number on Wall Street.

Here’s the point: we are human beings, not machines. Sure, we need money for the necessities of life and it’s nice to enjoy some experiences beyond the necessities but we also need work that is meaningful if we are to flourish over the course of our lives.

So how is your internal temperature?  Are you near a boiling point on a regular basis?

Are you flourishing? Are you spending all of your days serving yourself or are you investing your life in a cause greater than self? Is your work bringing truth, beauty and/or goodness into the world?  If not, can you identify ways to bring truth, beauty and/or goodness to your workplace?  If you conclude it isn’t possible, consider finding volunteer work that does or seek another job where you can do work that brings meaning to your life.  If you’re fortunate, you will find work that is so meaningful and brings such a sense of joy and contentment to your life that you never want to retire.  Imagine that!

Click here to view the embedded video.



Here is a video from YouTube of a conversation I had earlier this year about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation with Dr. Homer Erekson, Dean of TCU’s Neeley School of Business.  Our conversation occurred as part of the Tandy Executive Speakers Series that featured CEOs of outstanding companies such as Nieman Marcus, Southwest Airlines and The Container Store.

During our conversation we discussed how most leaders don’t understand the importance of emotional connections to the success of the their organization.  Learn more about the “Connection Cultures” that great leaders create by reading Fired Up or Burned Out.

The New York Times has had a number of great articles related to connection and how it leads to success at work and in life.  In an article about what Google discovered from Project Oxygen, a rigorous study of its successful managers, Laszlo Bock, the leader of the study stated:

“In the Google context, we’d always believed that to be a manager, particularly on the engineering side, you need to be as deep or deeper a technical expert than the people who work for you…It turns out that that’s absolutely the least important thing. It’s important, but pales in comparison. Much more important is just making that connection and being accessible.” (italics mine)

This is exactly the point I made when I spoke about Connection Cultures described in my book Fired Up or Burned Out at Google in late 2009 as part of the Leading@Google series (you can see the video of my presentation at this link and read the article here.)

An article about Starbuck’s CEO Howard Schultz describes him as humbler and listening more as well as considering the opinions and ideas of his colleagues.  This reflects the character strength of humility and the element of Voice in a Connection Culture that our research shows builds emotional and rational connections with employees.  Read the article at this link.

Finally, The New York Times columnist David Brooks’ new book The Social Animal is reviewed.  In the book Brooks argues that the ability to develop social connections is under-appreciated and extremely important to our success in life.  You can read the review at this link.

Connection is a muscle that must be continuously exercised.  The more you connect with others, the better you become at connecting.  Here are three ways to connect that are common practices of outstanding connectors:

1. KNOW THEIR STORY – Invest the time to learn the life stories of the people in your life at home, in your community and at work. Take them out for coffee or a meal and ask them “so you were born and then what happened?”  Listen and ask questions.

2. ASK QUESTIONS UNRELATED TO WORK – Ask the people in your life what their interests are outside of work, what’s their favorite movie, musician or place of vacation.

3. FIND A WAY TO SERVE THEM – Look for ways that you can serve someone you want to connect with.  Perhaps they need to hear an encouraging word.  You might also consider offering to bring them a coffee or soft drink.  If they like gifts and they’ve been facing a difficult time in life, send them a gift they would like. You might consider sending one of my favorites: Ben and Jerry’s ice cream from www.icecreamsource.com.

]]> http://www.michaelleestallard.com/at-google-starbucks-and-life-outside-of-work-success-connection/feed 2 http://www.michaelleestallard.com/video-interview-employee-engagement-connections http://www.michaelleestallard.com/video-interview-employee-engagement-connections#comments Sat, 26 Feb 2011 02:40:18 +0000 Michael Lee Stallard http://www.michaelleestallard.com/?p=4380

Click here to view the embedded video.



Here is a video from YouTube of a conversation I had about leadership, employee engagement, productivity and innovation with Dr. Homer Erekson, Dean of TCU’s Neeley School of Business.  Our conversation occurred as part of the Tandy Executive Speakers Series.