Malcolm Gladwell, Atul Gawande on Connection

Several writers at The New Yorker understand how important the force of human connection is to help people thrive.  I’ve previously written about Ken Auletta’s masterpiece “The Howell Doctrine,” and, of course, there’s Jim Surowiecki’s The Wisdom of Crowds.  Two other writers at The New Yorker have made significant contributions on this topic.

In Atul Gawande’s The Checklist Manifesto, we learn that disconnection (the failure to communicate and connect) is the primary cause of aircraft accidents and a major contributor to medical errors.  Gawande, a surgeon, prescribes checklists to help improve performance as the work we do becomes increasingly complex.  Here’s one example.  Doctors at Johns Hopkins Hospital learned that surgical teams performed better when, prior to surgery, each member of the team introduced him or herself and shared any foreseeable concerns.  When surgical teams did this, lower status members were more likely to speak up if they saw mistakes being made.  This became a step on Gawande’s checklist he and his team developed for the World Health Organization.

In Malcolm Gladwell’s most recent book, Outliers: The Story of Success, connection is a theme throughout.  In the introduction, we learn that several research studies found residents of the town of Roseto, Pennsylvania were healthier and lived longer solely because they were a more relationally connected community.  In the next chapter, we learn that 10,000 hours of intentional practice is required with coaching (i.e. connection) to achieve expert level performance.  Although Gladwell doesn’t explicitly make this point, the support of family and friends is necessary to persevere through the inevitable difficulties of  practicing for 10,000 hours, which is 10 years of practicing for 20 hours a week.

In a chapter on geniuses, Gladwell concludes they are often not very successful because they fail to connect with other human beings and it renders them less effective at getting things done.  Similar to Gawande’s book, we learn that the key to airline safety is to reduce human error by making sure pilots, co-pilots and air traffic controllers are connected in both a rational and emotional sense.  Gladwell describes how the crash of a Columbian Airlines flight a few years ago because it ran out of fuel was attributable to a failure of communication between the co-pilot, pilot and air traffic controller at JFK Airport in New York.  The problem was that the plane’s co-pilot used “mitigating speech” to be respectful to those he perceived as having great status and authority.  When he needed to communicate the urgency of the situation he should have been screaming like a New York cab driver to make his point clear.

Finally, we learn from Gladwell about the success of the KIPP charter schools in low income urban neighborhoods.  Eighty percent of KIPP students go on to attend college.  KIPP students learn a protocal called “SSLANT” which stands for smile, sit up, listen, ask questions, nod when being spoken to, and track with our eyes.”  All of these behaviors help kids connect with others.  Brilliant, isn’t it.  KIPP teaches its students academic competence and relationship competence.  It was so inspiring to read how KIPP was giving these kids hope for a bright future, I wanted to stand up and cheer.

I very highly recommend both of these books.  They are utterly fascinating and well written, so much so that I couldn’t put them down.

One Easy Way to Be Happier



Americans are connection deprived. A quarter of Americans live alone and the number of Americans who haven’t had a conversation with a best friend over the previous six months has tripled since 1985 to nearly 25 percent of the U.S. population.  This also likely means Americans are running low on oxytocin, a molecule that is associated with empathy, trust, morality and connection.

To learn more about oxytocin, check out Paul Zak’s fascinating TED lecture.  Here are just a few interesting points he makes:

  • Oxytocin is found only in mammals
  • Massage, dancing, sex, social media and praying boost oxytocin
  • Empathy boosts oxytocin and, as a result, increases moral behavior
  • Con artists learn to manipulate oxytocin levels in people
  • Sexual abuse, stress and testosterone inhibit oxytocin production
  • Weddings cause the release of oxytocin, especially in the bride and her mother
  • The easiest way to boost oxytocin is to hug someone
  • Zak prescribes eight hugs a day boost your oxytocin levels and make you happier

Hopefully, one of the above points catches your attention so that you’ll take time to watch the lecture.  It’ll be 20 minutes well spent.

Great Leaders: TCU’s Chancellor, Victor Boschini

TCU is on a roll.  It has been recognized by U.S. News as one a top 100 colleges in America.   Its athletics’ teams are generally among the top teams in Division I college sports.   More recently the Chronicle of Higher Education named TCU as one of the “43 best colleges to work for.” I could go on.

This is no accident. TCU has benefitted from having a string of great leaders over recent decades.  These leaders developed a vision for the school that inspired the TCU community.  They raised money to fund a sizable endowment that gives the school financial flexibility to weather the ups and downs of the economy.  They improved campus infrastructure.  They invested in identifying and attracting the best “teacher-scholars” who love teaching and connecting with students and also share a passion to advance the pursuit of truth through research and scholarship.

The current leader of TCU, its chancellor, Victor Boschini, is an impressive leader.  He’s brimming with energy and optimism while being grounded in reality.  He combines a passion for excellence in tasks and in relationships (Boschini refers to fundraising as “friend-raising.”) He’s curious, always seeking people’s opinions and tapping their  knowledge.  He has surrounded himself with a team that has the energy and intelligence I can only compare to the White House staff in Aaron Sorkin’s West Wing.

At present, Boschini’s focus is to strengthen TCU’s culture of unity, community and connection.  This is one reason I’m thrilled as a parent that my daughter Sarah is a junior at TCU, and beginning next Fall, my youngest daughter, Elizabeth, will be a freshman there.   Sarah is co-captain of TCU’s cheerleaders. She describes TCU as “a small school with big spirit.”  Like many students at TCU, she’s involved in the local community.  Sarah is the cheerleading coach of Nolan Catholic High School where she coaches and mentors girls to develop their competence as student-athletes and their character as human beings.

Culture and leadership matter.  Most academic cultures are indifferent to students as human beings.  Not TCU. That’s why I’m writing an article about TCU and spending a healthy sum to send my daughters there.   My hope is that more colleges will become Connection Cultures, especially during this time when research shows college freshman are experiencing record levels of stress according to recent research by UCLA.

To learn more about Victor Boschini, check out this great article entitled “Far from Normal” written when he was appointed chancellor and this inspiring convocation speech he gave earlier this year on TCU’s Connection Culture.

Another leader to keep your eyes on is Dr. Ronald DePinho, president of the University of Texas’ M.D. Anderson Cancer Center. Dr. DePinho has declared that M.D. Anderson, the world’s largest cancer center, is “in a moonshot moment” in the war on cancer. Take a look a at this inspiring article about him entitled, “Leader in Cancer Fight, and Son of an Illegal Immigrant.” My prediction: an highly-motivated leader who knows how to connect with people + the competence and resources at M.D. Anderson = very big things in the years to come.  (Full discosure: Both TCU and M.D. Anderson are clients of my leadership training and consulting firm, E Pluribus Partners.)

Finally, Ruth Simmons, president of Brown University, is yet another leader who looks promising based on what I’m reading. Check out this great interview she did with The New York Times entitledI Was Impossible, but Then I Saw How to Lead.

New Year’s Advice: “Improve Your Relationships”

Here’s some advice for the new year: improve your relationships.  Why, you might ask?

Consider this. Sports Illustrated just named the “Sportswoman of the Year” and the “Sportsman of the Year.” (Read the announcement here.) They are, respectively, Pat Summit, head coach of the “Lady Vols” basketball team at the University of Tennessee, and Mike Krzyzewski, head coach of the Duke men’s basketball team.  Each has more wins that any other coach, active or alive, in her or his respective Division I sports.

What they share in common is a passion to achieve task excellence and relationship excellence.  Building strong relationships is instrumental to their success.  In describing Summitt, Tyler, Pat’s son who plays for the men’s basketball team at Tennessee, observes,

“people get caught up in the numbers [but] if you want to know to my mom best, look at her relationships. How many who grew up under her are successful? And when life hits, who are they making that first phone call to?”

Sports Illustrated goes on to observe that “Coach K has “forged the same kinds of bonds” with his players. Coach K agrees and explains that connecting with people “is what it’s ultimately about because there are so many systems that work” for great teams. He says he wants to feel about his players what “my mom felt for me.”  This esprit de corps helps the team “play as one, with spirit and courage, [so they have] the best chance to win” says Krzyzewski.

For those of you who want to learn more, I encourage you to read about the surprising and wonderful story of Coach K’s secret of success.

A benefit that comes from improving your relationships is identified in new research from two Princeton professors who conclude that relationships are the most important contributor to happiness.  Check out an article about their research at this link.

A factor that is presently diminishing happiness is that we spend too much time online.  Norman Nie’s research at Stanford has established that internet use is linked to social isolation. Daniel Gulati recently chimed in on this topic in a HBR blog post entitled “Facebook is Making Us Miserable.”  I also commented on it in a post entitled “The Subversive Side of Technology.”

Now that I’ve spent too much time online this morning, it’s time for me to unplug and spend time with my family and friends. As I bid you adieu, let’s make it our new year’s resolution to be intentional about investing time to improve our relationships.  Better yet, let’s get a head start on it this holiday season.

When a Psychopath Inhabits the C-Suite

This post is a continuance of my prior post on evil in organizational cultures.

The “dark triad” — psychopaths, narcissists and machiavellians — represents a small part of the population. What unties this group of destructive personalities is that they lack empathy for other human beings and care only about themselves. Some end up in correctional institutions while others end up in leadership positions where they create dog-eat-dog cultures or cultures that are indifferent to human beings (this is opposed to Servant Leaders who create “Connection Cultures”).

For some interesting thoughts on psychopaths in the C-suite, see this post by Larry Kahaner of the McGowan Fund and the link in his post to an article entitled “The Corporate Psychopaths Theory of the Global Financial Crisis” that appeared in the Journal of Business Ethics.  The book and movie entitled The Corporation make the argument that organizations that care only about profit have effectively become psychopathic.

The way to keep members of the dark triad out of positions of leadership and out of organizations is to educate everyone so that they understand what a healthy culture is, how it’s based on character strengths and virtues, and how organizations develop people with both character and competence.  One project we are working on with Scotiabank is creating a monthly piece for leaders entitled Leading with Character. Each month’s piece highlights a particular character strength, explains how it’s relevant to the organization and how to strengthen one’s leadership in ways that reflect the character strength.  If you are interested in learning more, please email me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com or call me at 203-422-6511.

Best Practice: Stories to Encourage Good, Avoid Evil






In the workshops we teach, we use stories of great leaders in business, government, the social sector and sports who inspired people to do what’s right.  This is a best practice to strengthen the positive effects of an organization’s identity (i.e. mission, values and reputation).

Check out this outstanding TED video of Stanford psychology professor Philip Zimbardo speaking on the topic of how culture encourages or discourages evil.  In the video, he recommends heroic stories that encourage people to do what’s right and shares a couple inspiring stories of his own.

What heroic stories have inspired you?  Please share below or feel free to email me at mstallard@epluribuspartners.com.  I’m going to write about some of my favorite stories in a forthcoming series of posts.

Five Languages of Appreciation at Work

Five languages of appreciation at work

Let me tell you about a new book that I’m recommending to leaders. It makes a great book for your leaders to read together as part of a book group.

Human Value is one of the elements of a Connection Culture that I teach leaders to create if they want to engage the people they lead to give their best efforts.  The definition of Human Value is when everyone in the organization understands the needs of people, appreciates them for their positive, unique contributions and helps them achieve their potential.  As the definition states, appreciation is essential.

Unfortunately, appreciation is frequently expressed in a language that is foreign to the individual on the receiving end.  This is a source of frustration when one individual expresses appreciation in his or her language (which is usually the case) and the recipient experiences appreciation in a different language.  Learning to express appreciation in ways that resonate with people is an important skill for all human beings, and especially for leaders.